


Better Late Than Never.

by Saltandburnboys



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, Torture, Violence, bottom!Jensen, cop!Jared, kidnap, protective!Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-21
Updated: 2012-08-23
Packaged: 2017-11-12 14:00:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/491830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saltandburnboys/pseuds/Saltandburnboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten years ago, Jensen and Jared set out to New York together but, after only a week, Jensen abandoned Jared and the man has never able to forgive him for it.  Yet when a new Cold Case file lands on his Captain’s desk, Jared finds out that maybe everything was not as it seemed all those years ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One.

**Author's Note:**

> Clearly this is an AU story; none of this ever happened. I do not own any of the actors in this story, especially not Jared or Jensen, they all belong to themselves. Jared and Jensen are not in a relationship, have never been and have no desire to be in a relationship; they are both happily married and not to each other which is awesome for both of them. The villains of my story, Mitch Pileggi, Mike Rosenbaum etc are not the assholes I make them in this story; I’m sure they’re awesome people in real life. No money was made from this story. Based on the spn_kink meme prompt. The OP wanted Lily Rush and her team to investigate this but, as much as I like Cold Case, I don’t watch it enough to feel like I could do that justice so the team’s made up of my CW favourites. I really loved this prompt, it’s amazing, and I really hope I did it justice:
> 
>  
> 
> ‘The boys were about 16yo and in love with each other. Jensen's abused by his wealthy stepfather for years. Jared found out and somehow they accidentally killed the guy (or they thought they did). Jensen's been saving money and planning to leave family as soon as he turned 18, so they used that money to run away together.
> 
> They were heading to NY because Jensen liked modern art and wanted to be an artist. But Jared became ill on the road and Jensen's money was running out.
> 
> Jared was having a high fever when Jensen told him he's gonna make some money and will come back soon. That's the last time Jared saw Jensen. When he woke up he was in hospital and his parents were by his side. They told him Jensen had abandoned him.
> 
>  
> 
> A dozen of years later, Jared became a cop in Philly and just joined Lily Rush's team. The case the team was now on was about three teenage boys' corpses found in an old building, all bonded, naked, apparently abused to death. Evidence showed they were all teen hookers when they were alive in the 90's.
> 
> When Jared was reviewing the photos from the crime scene, a bracelet caught his eye. It's the same bracelet he made for Jensen many years ago. Then he recognized that one of the clothes was what Jensen's wearing when Jared last saw him.
> 
> Jared's been hating Jensen for so many years, but now he wonders if he's been wrong all the time. What if Jensen didn't abandon him at all? What if he wanted to keep his words but got himself killed before he could come back to Jared?
> 
> Jared decides to find out what exactly happened to Jensen after he left Jared that night.
> 
> Up to the writer if one of the corpses was indeed Jensen's or he managed to escape from the killer but left the bracelet and his clothes behind.’
> 
>  
> 
> This is going to fill my ‘disappearing’ square on my h/c bingo card.
> 
> Words in italics are set in the past.

** Chapter One. **

 

** Jared. **

 

Jared kicked open the door, carrying a bag of doughnuts in one hand, a tray of coffees in the other and holding his car keys between his teeth.  Jared had been part of Jeff Morgan’s Cold Case team for a few months now but, as the newest guy on the team, he had to do the doughnut/coffee run in the mornings.  It sucked but it was pretty much the only part of his new job that he didn’t like.  

 

His partner, Chad, was a bit of a douche but Jared actually kind of liked him; the guy certainly had his moments.  On Jared’s third day there, Chad had heard that he lived two hours away from the station and had offered Jared the spare room in his apartment; they’d been roommates ever since and Jared got an extra hour and a half in bed every morning.  

 

His new boss, Jeff Morgan, was your typical no nonsense cop with an atypical dedication to his job; Jared had never worked with anyone more dedicated to helping people.  

 

Jared dropped his bounty on the table and quickly moved back as the team descended on the offerings like a pack of wolves.   He’d learnt his first day not get between Morgan and his first coffee of the morning; that never worked out well for anyone.  Jared sat down at his desk and turned his attention to the older man and waited for him to start the briefing; they’d wrapped up a homicide from the 50s yesterday and were due to start a new case today.

 

‘Right.  Sam’s given the order for us to reopen case from 2002. Three bodies were discovered in Brooklyn in the space of three months.  Each victim had been bound, gagged and beaten to death.  From the state of the bodies and the clothes the victims were wearing, the team working the case back then concluded that they were all prostitutes.’  Jeff dropped a set of photos onto each of the team’s desks.  

 

‘Why did the team back then think the deaths were connected?’  Sophia asked, dragging the pile of photos across her desk to take a closer look.  

 

‘Well, all the bodies were found within ten blocks of each other, they were all around 16 years of age and they were all bound in exactly the same fashion.  Plus there was this,’ Jeff pointed to one of the photographs that was pinned to the evidence board. 

 

‘Is that a tattoo?’  Genevieve asked, leaning forwards in her chair and squinting at the photo. 

 

‘A brand.’  She sat back quickly in her chair, recoiling from the image, as a visible shudder ran through her body.  Jared felt a similar chill himself looking at the ‘P’ on the evidence board.  ‘The team never found out what it stood for but they thought that maybe these boys all worked for the same pimp and the guy was…possessive.’  Disgust dripped from Jeff’s every word and Jared couldn’t blame him; _Christ_ these kids were only 16.  ‘And _just_ because this bastard couldn’t get any creepier, he likes to take a souvenir from his kills; each body was missing something,’ Jeff pointed to the board; the first boy was missing his right eye, the second his left hand and the third, one of his ears.  Jared quickly looked away; he saw some pretty horrific things in this job but it never got any easier to handle.  ‘The coroner wasn’t sure whether it was done pre-or post-mortem either.’  A collective shiver ran through the room.  

 

Jared grabbed his own pile of photos and flicked through the murder scenes; it was pretty gruesome viewing.  Jared picked up his coffee when his eye caught on something in one of the shots…something not possible.  The coffee fell from Jared’s numb fingers, spilling all over the floor.  

 

‘What the hell, Padalecki?’  Jared ignored Jeff’s angry yell as the man sprang backwards.

 

Jared picked up the photo and shoved it at Jeff, ‘Do we…do we have a close up of this boy’s wrist?’

 

Jeff looked at him like he was crazy and, hell, maybe he was because this…this just couldn’t be happening.  ‘Uh…yeah,’ Jeff rifled through the box of evidence on his desk and handed Jared another photo.  Jared snatched it from the older man’s hand and peered at the dead boy’s wrist.  

 

_ Oh my God! _

 

** Ten Years Ago.  **

 

_ ‘No way!  Batman would kick Iron Man’s ass any day of the week,’ Jensen said, playfully shoving Jared in the chest.   _

 

_ ‘Yeah in his dreams maybe,’ Jared shot back, a grin on his face; they’d had this argument dozens of times but he’d never managed to bring Jensen  round to his way of thinking, ‘you know Iro…’ _

 

_ They both jumped at the loud bang of the front door.  A moment later, heavy footfalls started a slow descent up the wooden stairs to Jensen’s room.  Jensen face paled instantly and he all but shoved Jared off the bed, ‘Get in the closet.  Put these on.’  Jensen thrust a CD player and headphones into Jared’s hands and pushed him towards the closet.   _

 

_ ‘Jen…’ _

 

_ ‘NOW!’  Jensen hissed.   _

 

_ Jared stumbled into the closet, closing the door behind him and shoving the headphones on.  He desperately wanted to be on the other side of the door, wanted to stand between Jensen and his bastard of a stepfather but he knew Jensen would never forgive him if he got involved.  Jared had promised that he wouldn’t the same day he’d found out that his best friend had served as his stepfather’s punching bag for years.  Jensen had begged him not to tell anyone and Jared hadn’t been able to say no, not in the face of Jensen’s pleading, no matter how much he wanted to.   _

 

_ Jared hated them all; Jensen’s stupid mother for marrying the asshole for his money, Jensen’s jerk of an older brother who ignored the bruises littering Jensen’s body in favour of playing with the new bike or game or  _ car _his oh so generous stepfather had bought him and, more than anything, Jared hated the abusive bastard himself._

 

_ Twenty minutes later, Jared dared to slip off the headphones, praying that it was over.  He let out a quiet breath of relief when he heard nothing outside the door.  His relief instantly morphed into concern when he carefully opened the door and heard muffled sobbing coming from the bed.  _

 

_ Jared quickly moved across the room and climbed onto the bed, dragging his best friend into his arms.  ‘It’s okay, Jen.  It’s okay,’ he whispered, petting the smaller boy’s hair, even though it wasn’t and was never going to be.   _

 

_ Jared held Jensen close until the boy finally calmed down and drew back, wiping at his cheeks, his face red with embarrassment.  As if Jared could ever be ashamed of Jensen, ever.  Jensen looked up at him then, his green eyes shining pale emerald in the moonlight streaming through the window.  Jared had to grit his teeth to keep from storming out of the room to find that bastard; a dark bruise was already blossoming on Jensen’s right cheek bone and his lip was split.  Red fingerprints marred the pale skin of the boy’s throat, the imprint of a thick ring indenting the flesh.   _

 

_ Jared brought his hand up to Jensen’s cheek, stopping just before he touched the skin, ‘Jen, you can’t keep letting him do this.  Please let me help you.  My parents coul…’ _

 

_ ‘No,’ Jensen said quickly, shaking his head wildly, ‘you can’t, you can’t do that.  My mom would never forgive me, he…he pays for everything.  He’s…he’s gonna send Andy to college in the fall and…and I don’t think they’d…’ Jensen trailed off but Jared knew what the boy was thinking.  Jensen didn’t think anyone would believe him if he spoke up; his stepfather was an important person in the community, a member of the church, he even volunteered as a guidance counsellor at their school, for fuck’s sake _ .

 

_ Jared wanted to reassure Jensen that, of course, his mom would believe him, that she loved him more than anything but Jared had unfortunately met Christine Ackles and the only thing she cared about was whether or not 9.00am was too early for a martini.  Jared just wanted to take Jensen away; his own parents loved Jensen like their own son and well, Jared…Jared had been in love with Jensen for years.   _

 

_ Jensen drew his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them, ‘And it’s only for two more years then…then we can get out of here.  Go up to New York like we planned,’ Jensen smiled, wincing slightly when the action reopened the cut in his lip.  ‘Everything’s gonna work out, Jay,’ Jensen insisted, his voice firm but there was a quiet desperation in his eyes, a pleading that belied his confidence.   _

 

_ Jensen looked tired though, too tired for his sixteen years, so Jared forced himself to nod; Jensen would never agree to anything he proposed anyway, ‘Yeah Jen, it’s gonna be awesome.’   _

 

_ Jared took Jensen’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together and, suddenly, an idea struck him.  He used his other hand to unclasp the black cuff around his wrist; it was one of a kind, his big brother had given it to him on his sixteenth birthday – it had ‘JTP’ etched into the leather and a dragon curled around the letters.  Jared loved it but he’d just thought of a much better use for it.   _

 

_ He slid his fingers from Jensen’s and clasped the leather cuff around the other boy’s slender wrist, ‘Jay?’ _

 

_ Jared rubbed over the leather once before looking up at Jensen, ‘I want you to keep this for me, until we get to New York, and whenever all this,’  he waved a hand towards Jensen’s bruised face, ‘gets too much, I want you to think of me, think of  _ us, _and how great New York is gonna be.’_

 

_ Jensen shook his head, his hand moving down to the cuff to take it off again, ‘No Jay, I can’t, you love this…’ _

 

_ Jared stilled the other boy’s hand and pursed his lips, it was now or never, ‘But I love you more.’  Jared licked his lips nervously before continuing, ‘I love you more than anything in the world and I want you to have it.’  Jensen gasped, his hand falling away from the cuff as he looked up at Jared, his eyes wide with shock. _

 

_ Jared thought for a moment that he’d made a terrible mistake telling Jensen how he felt; he could deal with Jensen not loving him back, but Jensen hating him?  Jared wasn’t sure he could handle that.  But then Jensen was scrambling across the sheets and into Jared’s lap, wrapping his arms around the taller boy’s neck.  He buried his face against Jared’s shoulder as he whispered, ‘Really?’ _

 

_ Jared brought his arms up around Jensen, hugging the smaller boy tightly to his chest, ‘Jensen, I’ve loved you since the day I met you.’  It was true; Jensen had been this beautiful, shining light the day he’d walked into the cafeteria at Jared’s school and ever since then, despite everything, the boy had made Jared’s life just that little bit brighter every single day.   _

 

_ ‘I love you too,’ Jensen mumbled against Jared neck and Jared felt Jensen’s tears against his skin. _

 

_ He just held on tighter and whispered, ‘Just two more years.’ _

 

 


	2. Chapter Two.

  
** Chapter Two. **

** Present Day. **

** Jared. **

That was what Jared was looking at.  It was the cuff he’d wrapped around Jensen’s wrist all those years ago.  _Jensen_.  Jared had tried so hard to forget the other boy and he’d almost managed it; he hardly ever thought about those stunning green eyes or that perfect smile, whilst he was awake, and no-one could blame him if Jensen showed up in his dreams from time to time, how was he supposed to control that?

He’d tried even harder to hate the boy; Jensen had abandoned him after everything Jared had given him, after everything Jared had _done_ for him, without so much as a note.  Fucking nothing.  

But looking at the bracelet adorning that dead boy’s wrist; had Jared been wrong all this time?

‘Hey Padalecki, you still with us, kid?’  Jeff asked gruffly but Jared could hear the concern in the older man’s voice. 

‘Uh…yeah.  That boy, it’s just…he kind of reminded me of someone I used to know.’  It was close enough to the truth for Jared not to feel guilty about lying to his boss. 

Jeff’s eyes narrowed for an instant before he nodded and moved back to the evidence board.  ‘Well, we’ve got another body, just the same as these boys.  He’s missing a thumb so we think it’s our guy.’

Jared looked down at photo of the most recent crime scene.  Jeff was right, the set up was exactly the same; the kid had been stripped to the waist, his back a horrible mess of criss-crossed red lines, his wrists bound behind his back and cuffed to his ankles so that he was forced to kneel.  That was how they’d all been found, stuck in that pose long after their hearts had given out.  

‘But this time, the fucker made a mistake,’ Jeff pointed to a small plastic bag pinned to the board, ‘this kid obviously didn’t want anyone nicking his smokes so he shoved them in his boxers…along with a book of matches.’

Jared took out his own photo of the matchbox.  ‘ _Jesus_ ,’ he whispered under his breath; this was a lead and no mistake.  The ‘P’ on the front of the book matched the brand on each of the boy’s hips perfectly.  He found the shot of the other side of the matchbook –  ‘Pileggis’ .  Pileggi was definitely a player in New York; he owned a string of casinos and hotels and the force was convinced that he was dirty but the man had always managed to keep his nose clean so they’d never been able to pin anything on him. 

Until now apparently.

‘You think he’s involved in all this?’  Jared asked.  

Jeff smiled grimly at them him, ‘You bet I do.   Now all we gotta do is prove it.’ 

****

Jared went home that night but he couldn’t settle, not with the image of that cuff seared into his mind.  Was Jensen dead?  Was he still alive somewhere?  Thinking back to that brand and the state of those boy’s bodies, Jared couldn’t decide which one would be better.  

He stripped down quickly and jumped into the shower, hoping the warm water would soothe some of the tension from his aching muscles.  But all he could think about was that day all those years ago when Jensen had left him alone and never come back.      

**_ 2002. _ **

_ ‘You fucking little shit.   I saw you, Jensen, with that…that Padalecki boy outside your school.’  Jared heard the dull sound of flesh hitting flesh and then Jensen cry out.  He was hidden behind the bookcase in Jensen’s lounge, ordered to stay hidden by his boyfriend once again.  He’d heard all of Jensen’s reasons as to why Jared couldn’t confront his stepfather except the real one, the one that Jared knew was the most important to Jensen – Jensen was afraid of him getting hurt.  Well, Jared had grown a hell of a lot over the summer, towering over Jensen at a cool six foot five, and while he might not have completely filled out his larger frame yet, his time of the football pitch and basketball court had given him some pretty impressive muscles for a sixteen year old.  He was pretty sure that he could take the bastard, especially with the anger fuelling him and the memories of the man’s marks on his boyfriend’s skin.   _

_ ‘You didn’t think you were enough of a disappointment already, you had to go and be a fag too?’  Jared’s fists clenched at his sides;  _ the narrow minded bastard _.  A terrifyingly loud crack followed by a desperate, strangled gasp had Jared darting out from his hiding place and grabbing the first thing he could lay his hands on.  The next second Jensen’s stepfather was on the ground, not moving, and Jensen was crouched on the floor wheezing and holding his throat._

_ Jared ignored the older man and knelt down next to Jensen, rubbing his back soothingly, ‘Are you okay, baby?’  He asked, turning Jensen’s face to his own and checking the boy’s pupils; it wouldn’t have been the first time that Jensen had had a concussion after one of his and his stepdad’s ‘discussions.’ _

_ Jensen blinked up at him, nodded shakily and then let his eyes fall to his stepfather.  ‘Jay, what did you do?’ He whispered.  _

_ Finally, Jared turned to the man sprawled out on the floor where he’d fallen.  The baseball bat that Jared had hit him over the head with lay next to him and there was a pool of blood growing on the carpet.  Fear sliced through Jared - was…was he dead?   He  _ looked _dead._

_ ‘Jared!  Jared…we’ve gotta go.  We need to get out of here before the cops show up,’ Jensen said urgently, getting to his feet.  He was half way up the stairs before he must’ve realised that Jared wasn’t following, ‘Come on Jay.’   _

_ ‘Jensen…I should…I should probably talk to the police…’  Jared might not regret doing what he’d done but he was sure that there would be consequences that he needed to face.  Fuck, he’d ruined everything.   _

_ Jensen walked back down the stairs and placed his hands on Jared’s shoulders.  ‘No… No.   I’m not letting anything happen to you, not because of me.  We’re getting out of here.  We’ll go to New York, like we planned.  I…I’ve got some money saved up, it’s not much but…but it’ll be enough to get us out of here.’  The boy fled up the stairs, coming down ten minutes later with a bag in each hand.  Jared knew that Jensen had been packed for months, counting down the days to his eighteenth birthday, even though it was still two years away.   _

_ Jensen grabbed Jared’s hand and dragged him from the house.   _

_ **** _

_ Two weeks later, they were holed up in a crappy motel room in New York and Jared wasn’t doing so well.  He’d been in bed for the past week with Jensen looking after him but he felt like complete shit.  He knew that he had to get up, he needed get a job like Jensen; Jensen’s paycheque was next to nothing and his savings weren’t going to last all that long, hell, he didn’t even know how much Jensen had started off with.   _

_ The door opened and his boyfriend walked in, looking exhausted.  Jared tried to focus but his vision blurred as another shiver ran down his spine despite the warmth of the motel room.  Jensen was by his side in an instant, a bottle of water in his hand, ‘How you feeling, Jay?’ _

_ ‘I’m fine,’ Jared croaked out.   _

_ Jensen shook his head and rubbed his hand down his face, ‘No you’re not.  That’s it, we’re done.  I’m calling your mom, I’ll tell them that I hit Jacob and…’ _

_ ‘No!  I’m not letting you take the fall for that Jensen.  If we go back then I’m telling them everything.’  Jensen had already lost enough because his stepfather, Jared wasn’t going to let the man take anything else from him.  _

_ Jensen looked stricken as he argued, ‘But it was my fault…you would never have had to do that if it weren’t for me…’ _

_ ‘Jensen,’ he lifted his hand to Jensen’s cheek, ‘none of that was your fault.  I had to do it; I couldn’t stand by and let him hurt you anymore.  And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.’  It shocked him and kind of scared him but that didn’t make it any less true – he’d do anything for Jensen.  ‘And if you wanna go back, I’ll go back with you, but I’ll tell them everything.’  Jared would let Jensen take the lead on this one; he’d go wherever Jensen felt he needed to be. _

_ Jensen shook his head, his eyes darting away from Jared, ‘No.  Not yet.  It’ll…it’ll be okay.  I’ll sort something out,’ Jensen said nervously, his shaking hand running through his hair, ‘I’ll just…just get a few more shifts at the diner.’ _

_ Jared raised himself up on the bed with an effort; his arms felt like jelly and the movement made the room spin a little.  ‘I’ll be fine…just give me a couple of days and I’ll get a job too,’ he said determinedly; he would be fine, he’d get better.  For Jensen.  _

_ But three days later, Jared took a turn for the worst.  He couldn’t keep anything down and he was shivering constantly despite Jensen having turned the thermostat up to its highest setting.   _

_ Jensen leaned over Jared, ‘Don’t worry, Jay.  It’s all gonna be okay, I’m gonna make it okay.’ _

_ That was the last time that Jared ever saw Jensen.  _

_ **** _

** 2012. **

The motel manager had broken in to the room two days after that and found Jared all but comatose on the bed.  He’d rifled through their things and found a number for Jared’s parents.  

Jared had woken up in the hospital a week later.  He’d been frantic about Jensen but his parents had told him that Jensen had obviously left him behind.  Jared hadn’t believed it at first; there was no way that Jensen would’ve just left him but, after two months of zero contact, Jared had had to accept that his boyfriend had abandoned him and was never coming back.

Jensen’s stepdad hadn’t said anything about Jared; he’d claimed someone had broken into the house that night and that he’d never seen the guy’s face.  Jared was positive that the bastard just didn’t want Jared to out him as a fucking child beater ‘cause wouldn’t his church buddies just love that?  But Jared couldn’t risk outing him, not after what he’d done, so as much as it pained him to do it, Jared kept the man’s secret to protect his own.    

Years later, Jared had drifted back to New York, pretending that it had been the call of the big city that had drawn him there but it hadn’t been; it had been the memories of a green eyed boy he’d never been able to forget.  When he’d first become a cop, years ago now, he’d jumped on every missing person case, every John Doe that had been brought into the morgue, searching for answers but when nothing had come of, Jared had finally let it go and tried to build a life for himself.  

Jared slammed his fist against the shower wall; fuck, he’d just stopped looking too soon!

 


	3. Chapter Three.

 

** Chapter Three. **

 

** Jared. **

 

Jared walked into the casino with Genevieve on his arm; they made the perfect power couple.  He made sure that they garnered enough interest to get catch Pileggi’s attention but not enough to make it look like he was _trying_ to get them noticed; no-one involved in the criminal workings of the New York _wanted_ to get noticed.  

 

Jared headed over to one of the outer tables as Genevieve drifted off, under the guise of getting something to drink, to scout the place while Jared got close to Pileggi.  But before he could sit down at one of the roulette tables, a man appeared at his shoulder, ‘I think you might be more comfortable at one of our private tables, Mr…’

 

‘Stark,’ Jared replied hiding his surprise at the quick acceptance; clearly, they’d made an impression after all, whether it was good or bad remained to be seen.  Jared followed the man to the curtained off area of the casino which was exactly where he wanted to be.  Inside was a much larger table, set up for Poker, surrounded by smartly dressed men and women; most of whom Jared recognised.  Pileggi was there, of course, as was Fedric Lehne, the man’s head of security, Danneel Harris, who ran the narcotics side of things and Mark Sheppard who pretty much controlled the arms trade for the entire city.

 

Pileggi’s eyes darted up to him as Jared took one of the last remaining seats.  Jared passed the case of money he’d brought to the dealer who exchanged it for a large pile of poker chips.  The dealer dealt out the first hand and, as Jared looked at his cards, he could feel Pileggi’s eyes on him.

 

They played in silence, the mounds of chips shifting around the table, some falling, some rising, but both Jared’s and Pileggi’s piles remained damn near constant the whole time.  After two hours of playing, it was clear that Pileggi and Jared were the best players in the room or, perhaps, it was just that the others were too afraid of Pileggi to even try to take a hand off him.  Either way, it set Jared and the man apart from the rest and, finally, Pileggi lay down his cards, stood up and walked over to Jared.  

 

‘Mr Stark was it?’  Jared nodded, looking up from his own hand, ‘Maybe we should have a talk?  I might just have something you’re interested in.’

 

A few weeks of well placed rumours had the name Stark circulating in the criminal underworld of New York and that, along with Jared’s performance at the table, had obviously set him up as a player in Pileggi’s eyes.  The man led him away from the table to one of the booths at the side and gestured for Jared to sit down.  

 

‘You’ve got quite the reputation for someone so young, Mr Stark.’  Jared nodded at the compliment but remained silent, waiting for Pileggi to continue and give him his opening, ‘You looking to get back in the game here, kid?’  

 

Internally, Jared bristled at being called ‘kid’ by someone like Pileggi but he didn’t let it show on his face.  He gave the man a lazy, arrogant smile as he answered, ‘Definitely.  I spent the last few years overseeing some of Roche’s more popular brothels so I think I’d be good there.’  He relaxed back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest, his pose exuding enough confidence to show his capability without setting himself up as rival, ‘but it’s your call, Boss, just put me where you need me; I can handle pretty much anything you wanna throw at me.’ 

 

Jared wanted to nudge the man into letting him work in the prostitution side of the business without _actually_ asking for it; it would look suspicious to be that eager and that might lead to Pileggi talking to some of the _real_ players in San Francisco.    

 

While Jeff had asked some of the cops in Frisco to make sure their CIs knew who Jared was, in case Pileggi sent someone snooping, the main guys still wouldn’t know who Jared was and that would be a problem if Pileggi got suspicious and contacted one of them directly.  Luckily, Pileggi wasn’t really a team player, never had been; he didn’t like sharing power or making compromises and those were both inevitable when you worked with another syndicate.  So Pileggi was relatively cut off from the other bosses, content with holding unchallenged dominion over New York.  That had actually worked both in their favour and against it; it had meant that Jared could easily slip into the organisation without too many questions being raised about his past but it also meant that cops from other cities were able to provide very little information on Pileggi’s activities so all Jared and the team had to rely on was the evidence they’d collected themselves and, well, there wasn’t all that much to go on.  Jared had never known anyone able to cover their tracks like Pileggi did.    

 

‘I could use a guy with experience in one of my higher end places; just had to let a guy who didn’t _quite_ understand the rules,’ Pileggi explained, his voice hard as steel.  Jared knew what ‘let go’ was code for, no-one left this business alive, not unless they were really, _really_ good or had friends in high places, and even then it was pretty impressive to get out intact.  

 

‘Well I know how to follow rules, if that’s what you’re getting at,’ Jared replied firmly; he couldn’t let Pileggi think he was a push over – he’d never be allowed in if they didn’t he had the balls to do the job. 

 

He knew it was the right answer when Pileggi gave him a smug smile, ‘Glad to hear it; wouldn’t want to think we were gonna have a problem.’

‘You won’t get any trouble from me, Boss,’ Jared assured the man, greatly looking forward the day when he brought down a whole _world_ of trouble on the bastard.

 

‘Good,’ Pileggi studied him for a moment and Jared kept his face safely neutral, ‘how about you come down to one of my houses tomorrow and have a look around?  Maybe you could try out some of the goods and let me know what you think?’ 

 

Swallowing down his disgust at hearing the man refer to those kids as ‘goods’ like they weren’t even people anymore, Jared replied, ‘Sure, sounds good.’  He glanced down at his watch and then made a show of looking round the casino before letting his eyes fall on Genevieve and beckoning her over.  ‘Now if you’ll excuse me, Mr Pileggi, I need to get my wife home,’ Jared stood up and started to walk away from the table.  

 

‘Mr Stark, aren’t you forgetting something?’  Jared froze and turned around slowly; Pileggi’s eyes were narrowed in suspicion. _Shit, what had he done wrong?_   He wasn’t left to wonder long though, ‘How do you expect to find the house tomorrow if I don’t give you the address?’  _Shitshitshit_ ; Jared had completely forgotten that the houses were a carefully kept secret and no-one was supposed to have any clue where they were.  Except that Jared did, he and the team knew the rough location of at least four of Pileggi’s houses and, thanks to one helpful little rat, they certainly knew exactly where the most expensive one was.  They’d just never been able to get into any of them before; no judge would grant them a warrant without hard evidence against Pileggi so their only chance of getting in was to get invited.  And it looked like Jared might have just blown it.  

 

Thinking on his feet, Jared put a plan into action, in a desperate attempt to fix his epic fuck up.  He knew Genevieve could hear everything he was saying through the microphone hidden under the top button of his shirt, and he just hoped she’d catch on to what he needed her to do.  Jared casually pointed to Pileggi’s jacket pocket and said, ‘My card’s in your pocket; my office address is on the back.  Your guy can pick me up from there.’  Pileggi frowned, his hand straying to his _very_ empty pocket when Genevieve stumbled past Jared and drunkenly fell against Pileggi.  Jared rolled his eyes and moved to pull Genevieve away, grumbling, ‘If she didn’t have more money than God, I never would’ve fucking married her.’  

 

Pileggi continued watch him through narrowed eyes and Jared held his breath as the man’s hand strayed once again to his pocket.  Relief swept through Jared when he saw the man pluck out a little white card and flip it over.  Pileggi flashed Jared an impressed smile, all suspicion gone, and pointed the card at him, ‘I like you, kid, you’re smart.’  Then he gave Genevieve a disdainful look, ‘And clearly you’re willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead.  I like that too.’

 

Jared nodded and took Genevieve firmly by the arm as she leaned drunkenly against his side.  He guided her through the casino and out the door to the car they’d arrived in.  As soon as he closed his car door, Genevieve slumped back against the seat, ‘Jeez, Jay, you sure know how to test a girl.  You’re just damn lucky I play drunk so well.’

 

Jared turned the key in the ignition and grinned at her, ‘Must be all the practise you’ve had.’  She shot him a mock offended look and slapped him on the arm.  

 

‘And what the hell did that asshole mean, ‘ _you’re willing to do whatever it takes’_ – whatever it takes?  I’ll have you know, even if I _was_ a drunken mess, you’d still be lucky to be married to me,’ she declared, her voice ringing with indignation.

 

Jared chuckled softly and shook his head, feeling a strong surge of affection for the small, dark haired woman sitting next to him, ‘Yeah I would.’

 

 

 


	4. Chapter Four.

  
 

** Chapter Four. **

** Jared. **

Jared peered down the empty corridor, taking in the numerous doors on each side, as he followed the man guiding him down the hall.  ‘First time?’  The man smirked at him over his shoulder.  

‘Yeah,’ Jared didn’t elaborate; he knew from years of undercover work, the less said, the better.  

‘I can always tell a first timer.  Don’t worry, you’ll get used to the set up in no time, they always do.  So who do you wanna to see?’

The team hadn’t been able to identify any of the boys Pileggi had supposedly kidnapped since most of them had been living on the street at the time or had been taken so many years ago that their files had long since been buried under hundreds of others so he simply shrugged, ‘Who’d you recommend?’

‘Best fuck or best price?’ The man asked as if he was talking about a cut of meat at the market.  Jared managed to hide his disgust behind a mask of indifference; the mask was a damn useful gift from his undercover training.  Time was that Jared wore every emotion on his face but they all knew that one wrong look could get you killed in the underbelly of New York.

‘Both.’

‘Well, cheapest is Kyle, 19; he hasn’t been with us all that long so he’s not all that experienced but he’s all the tighter for it,’ the man winked over his shoulder at Jared and the taller man wanted nothing more than to pummel the little sleaze into the ground.  Jared couldn’t wait to put the bastard behind bars where he belonged but, instead of whipping out his cuffs and reading the guys his rights like he really, _really_ wanted to right then, Jared just nodded, urging the man to continue.  

‘But if you want a _real_ experience, the best the house has to offer, I’ll take you to Jenny.’  Jared stumbled slightly, before he caught himself.  Luckily, the man was too busy selling his boss’s best boy’s ass to notice Jared’s slip up, ‘He’s more expensive but, believe me, when I say it’s _more_ than worth it.’  He stopped walking and turned to Jared, a sly smile on his face, ‘I shouldn’t really be telling you this but,’ he quickly glanced either way down the corridor, ‘the boss comes down here sometimes and spends some time with Jenny.  He doesn’t do that with any other boy, never has.  So the guy’s something, I can tell you that.  Been with us for a while now, bit hesitant to begin with but he’s more than enthusiastic now.’  

‘I’ll take that one then,’ Jared answered in a bored tone, like he bought hookers every day, proud that he managed to keep his voice from shaking.

‘Good choice, man, you won’t regret it,’ the man grinned at him and strode over to one of the doors lining the hall.  The man knocked four times before turning to Jared and saying, ‘Just go right on in, Jenny’ll be ready for you.’

Jared swallowed, he’d never been so nervous in his life; not once in his ten years on the force, and he’d gotten into some pretty hairy situations once or twice.  He steeled himself and pushed open the door.  

As soon as he entered the room and saw the blonde man sitting on the bed, Jared knew.  Jensen might’ve gotten older but he still possessed that insanely beautiful quality that just took your breath away.  But as Jared watched a sexy smirk crawl onto the man’s face, that light, that brightness, that Jared had always been so entranced by, it was just…it was gone.   No-one else would have noticed it, no-one but the man’s best friend, but Jensen’s eyes were dead; stunning, as always, but cold and lifeless.  

‘Hey there, I’m Jenny.  And what can I _do_ for you?’  Jensen got up from the bed and walked over to Jared, swinging his hips seductively, before placing his flat palms against Jared’s chest.

‘Jensen,’ a slight frown clouded Jensen’s features for a second before it was a gone.  Jared took hold of Jensen’s hands, gripping them tightly, ‘It’s me, Jen, it’s Jared.’

Jensen smiled, ‘Very nice to meet you Jared.’  Jensen extricated his hands from Jared’s and brought them down to his own shirt.  ‘Now that we’re all introduced, how about we get down to what you really came here for, hmm?’  Stepping back slightly, Jensen’s nimble fingers pushed the first button of his shirt through its hole, revealing Jensen’s pale white throat.    

Jared stepped back up to Jensen, stilling the other man’s hands, ‘No Jensen.  I’m not here for that.’

Jensen looked a little lost for a moment before his expression smoothed out into something of mild curiosity and utter submission; it seemed like Jared wasn’t the only one who’d inherited a mask over the years.  ‘Okay.  We can do anything you want and I mean _anything_ you want,’ Jensen leered up at him.

Jared felt his stomach turn over; the very idea that that shy boy he’d known, _loved_ , all those years ago was standing in front of him, a stranger in Jensen’s eyes, offering to give him anything was horrifying.  

‘You don’t understand.’  Jared said a little more harshly than he’d meant to.  He took a deep breath, hoping to calm the anger he felt at this shitty situation, at himself, at Jensen; if Jensen hadn’t left that day…if he’d just stayed…god, then none of this would have happened.  It was irrational and unfair but Jared was close to drowning in a sea of guilt right then and thinking that was the only way he’d keep him afloat, at least until Jared got Jensen out of this hell hole.  ‘It’s _me,_ Jensen.  It’s Jared Padalecki. You _know_ me,’ he said slowly, willing Jensen to hear him, _really_ hear him.

Something flickered in Jensen’s green eyes, a flash behind the dullness, before the man shook his head and let his expressionless mask fall back into place,  ‘I don’t know you.’

Jared gripped Jensen’s hands tighter like he used to do when Jensen had a particularly bad run in with his stepfather.  ‘You _do_ , Jensen.  Back from 2002.   Back in Austin.  You were my best friend, I lo…’

Jensen tore his hands away, his face pale, and stumbled away from Jared, almost tripping over the side of the bed.  ‘I…I don’t know what you’re talking about or you’re looking for,’ his hands were shaking so violently that he couldn’t manage to re-button his shirt, ‘b…but it’s not me.  I don’t know you.’

Jared shoved his hand into his pocket; he’d only brought this in case of an emergency but he felt that Jensen’s extreme reaction to him really warranted it, he just hoped it worked.  He pulled out the small see-through evidence bag and held it up to Jensen.  A shocked gasp fell from Jensen’s lips as he looked at the bag and the leather cuff inside.  ‘I gave this to you ten years ago and you were wearing it the last time I saw you.’

Jensen looked up at Jared then, the mask finally falling off his beautiful face and making him look so like the boy Jared had lost all those years ago.  Jensen’s green eyes were filled with tears as he whispered, ‘Jared?’  It came out as more of a sob than a question.  ‘No.  You can’t…you can’t be here.  You have to leave.’  Jensen frantically pushed Jared towards the door.

‘I’m not going anywhere without you,’ Jared said firmly, pressing his hand against the door as Jensen tried to open it.  It wasn’t in the plan to get any of the boys out yet; they needed hard evidence against Pileggi, they needed something to link the man to the house and Jared didn’t have that.  They couldn’t rely on Jensen’s testimony, nor that of any of the boys there; it wouldn’t be the first time that a victim had been too traumatised or scared to testify and the fucker they’d been trying to nail had walked free.  Jeff would kill him if he came back with nothing but a traumatised victim at best and an empty shell at worst.  

But Jared just didn’t care.  Not one bit.  Whether he’d let himself believe it or not, he’d become a cop because of Jensen.  He hadn’t wanted anyone else to go through what he’d suffered, looking for months for someone they loved and ending up with nothing.    

‘You have to; it’s not safe here,’ Jensen whispered and he sounded so like his sixteen year old self that Jared’s heart clenched painfully.  The fear and panic in Jensen’s voice was so thick that Jared could almost taste it.    Jared could only imagine what Jensen had been through in the last ten years to warrant that level of fear.  

‘I know.’  Jared rolled up his trouser leg and pulled out his badge from where he’d hidden it in his sock; he wouldn’t normally have brought it on an undercover job but he’d thought he might need it to convince Jensen to come with him, if he found him.

‘You’re a cop?’  Jensen said, backing away slightly, and now he looked a little sacred of Jared too and that…that just wasn’t right.  Jared nodded, confused by Jensen’s reaction.  ‘Am I…am I going to go to prison?’  Jensen asked, his voice low and unsure and so fucking young that Jared had to clench his jaw to keep from screaming. 

‘No.  _God_ no, Jensen.  I’m just here to get you out,’ Jared explained softly.      

‘What about everyone else?’  Jensen asked in a small voice, his eyes wide as he stared at Jared. 

Jared’s stomach dropped; that was the problem wasn’t it?  If Jared took Jensen with him now then it was more than likely that Pileggi would uproot and move this house and all the others to somewhere else in New York, probably even deeper underground.  Or the man might just cut his losses and get rid of the evidence…it wasn’t like homeless boys were hard to find on the streets of the Big Apple.  ‘They’ll be okay; we’ll come back for them,’ Jared lied; he knew that it would be anything _but_ okay.  

‘You’re lying,’ Jensen accused, his mouth set in the same determined line Jared used to see to when Jensen was being stubborn and, suddenly, Jared didn’t like where this conversation was going.  ‘If I leave, Mitch’ll know someone was here and none of them will make it out of here.’  And, just like that, Jared knew what Jensen was going to say before he even opened his mouth, ‘I’m staying.’

‘No!  No you’re not.’  Jared grabbed Jensen by the sleeve; he’d drag the man out if he had to.  Jensen ripped his arm away and backed away to the other side of the room.  ‘No,’ Jared said again, marching over to Jensen, ‘I’ve spent half my life looking for you; do you really think now that I’ve found you, I’m ever gonna let you out of my sight again?’  Jared was mildly surprised to find that that was truth; he might have convinced himself that he’d moved on, given up on Jensen, but now he could see that wasn’t true.  Every face he’d seen on the street, every victim in the morgue, every suspect in the interrogation room, he’d checked them all.  Even if he hadn’t known it at the time, Jared had obviously held onto some small kernel of hope that Jensen was still alive.  

‘Yeah, you are Jared,’ Jensen said quietly, ‘because you know it’s the right thing to do.  You’d never forgive yourself if you took me with you and something happened to these kids.’

_ I think I would.   _ ‘Please Jensen, just come with me.’  But Jensen just shook his head and Jared slammed his fist against the wall in frustration, ‘Why do you have to make this so damn difficult?’  He spat, angrily.

Jared instantly regretted his tone when Jensen flinched and wrapped his arms around his chest, ‘I’m so sorry Jay.’  The nickname sliced through Jared’s already bleeding heart; he knew this wasn’t going to end the way he wanted it to.  ‘I’m not trying to make this difficult…I’m really not.’  Jensen bit his lip, nervously, before he added, ‘I wished for you too.’

Jared strode across the room and pulled Jensen into his arms; the man tensed up at first before relaxing into the embrace.  It felt awkward in a way that it never had before, like Jensen didn’t know what to do with his body like this;  God only knew how long it had been since someone had touched Jensen in comfort and not wanting…something else.  Before Jared could say anything, though, Jensen was pulling away again, ‘Now you have to go.  _Please._ No-one can know who you are or we’re all done for.’  

Jared knew the man was right.  He drew Jensen into his arms again and dropped a quick kiss on the top of the man’s head, ‘I’ll come back for you, I promise.’  He felt Jensen nod against his chest but when Jared pulled away, there was no spark of hope in the man’s eyes, only resignation written all over his face, despite the smile he’d tried to plaster over it.  Jensen clearly didn’t believe he was coming back; well that didn’t matter, Jared would just have to prove him wrong.      ‘I’ll be back,’ Jared said again, looking Jensen right in the eye, willing the man to believe him and hold onto himself just long enough for Jared to get him back.   

Then Jared turned on his heel, repeating to himself over and over again, that that would not be the last time he saw those stunning green eyes, he wouldn’t let it be.  

Not again.

 


	5. Chapter Five.

 

** Chapter Five. **

 

** Jensen. **

 

As soon as the door closed, Jensen ran over to the bed and rumpled up the sheets; he knew that Mike would be in any minute to check that everything had gone as planned with his client.  Maybe try and score a free blowjob off Jensen, the fucking perv, but neither Mitch nor any of his trainers were down at the house that day so Jensen wasn’t gonna play Mike’s games when he didn’t have to.  

 

Mike was only for there for the clients, anyway, he wasn’t there to ‘train’ or discipline the boys in the house so, while Mitch might scare the ever loving shit out of Jensen, Mike was a poor substitute.  And he was so obviously the fall guy if the cops ever found out what _really_ went on there that Jensen would almost feel sorry for the man if he weren’t such a complete asshole.  

 

As predicted, Mike came waltzing through the door not two minutes after Jared had left.  _Jared!_   Jensen shook his head, he needed to stay focused; even if his keeper was somewhat lacking in the brains department, Jensen couldn’t risk him suspecting that something was wrong, he’d report it straight to Mitch and then they’d all be screwed.  He could think about what had just happened later… _much_ later.    

 

Jensen pretended to zip up his pants - in for a penny, in for a pound.  ‘Well, he didn’t look very happy when he left Jenny.  Not losing your touch are ya, sweetheart?’  The repulsive man leered.  

 

‘Can’t help it if he doesn’t like what I do,’ Jensen shrugged, pulling the sheets straight on his bed; he’d have more clients that night and he knew he was expected to keep himself and his room looking good.

 

‘Really?  Wonder what the boss’ll think of that attitude.  Maybe I should just give him a quick call, see if he can come down and help you with that?’

 

Jensen froze, his back ramrod straight, his jaw clenched.  ‘No.  No, that’s alright.  The client…he…it was fine…it was good,’ Jensen said quickly; he didn’t want to draw Mitch’s attention any more than he already seemed to.  They didn’t get to talk often, the boys and men held at the house, but when they did, Jensen had found out that none of them were ever _visited_ by Mitch in the way Jensen was.  Jensen was pretty sure that was the only reason he’d managed to survive as long as he had - because Mitch _liked_ him.  Jensen had seen plenty of boys leave and not come back – he’d been there the longest by far…by _years_.  He wanted to feel lucky, lucky that he was still alive but he just couldn’t muster up the feeling.  The first words that flashed through his mind every time he thought about his _luck,_ about being favoured, were _‘better off dead’._

 

‘Well I suppose _I_ could always evaluate your performance, make sure that I don’t need to inform the boss of any problems.  It _is_ my job to make sure everything runs efficiently down here.’  Jensen closed his eyes for a second, looked like he was going to have to play today after all.  Submitting to a slime-ball like Mike was always difficult but it beat the hell out of the alternative.  Jensen had years of experience to know what pride got you – absolutely fucking nothing but broken bones and pain.  

 

** 2002. **

 

_ Jensen had left Jared at the motel to work his shift at the diner.  It wasn’t enough; the few hours he was able to pick up weren’t sufficient to pay the rent on the room and buy for food for both of them.  He hadn’t eaten in three days and had spent all their money on medicine and food for Jared.  They were already eating into his savings, fast; none of this had gone like he’d planned.  He’d thought he would have another two years of saving, two years’ worth of money, before he’d have to try and make it on his own in New York.  And then they would both have been eighteen, with diplomas, and he would’ve been able to get a better job.  As it was, the job at the diner was the only one he could find and, even then, he was sure his manager suspected he wasn’t eighteen, like he’d claimed, so Jensen feared that he wasn’t even gonna have that for very much longer.    _

 

_ Plus, Jared would’ve been in college and had his parents still supporting him.  Jensen  _ desperately _wanted to call Jared’s mom, get her to come and get them; he’d already picked up the payphone outside the motel three times that day, only to put it back down on the receiver again every time.  It was only the thought that Jared might tell the cops what had really happened that held him back; Jared had done that for him, if Jared had never known him then he would never have had to leave his perfect life, his perfect family._

 

_ Jensen fingered the leather band around his wrist and tried to calm his breathing as he walked over to where his boss was bussing some tables, ‘Richard?  Um… I was wondering if you had any extra shifts I could work?  I’m kinda desperate.’  Jensen was so far past desperate, it wasn’t even funny.  _

 

_ The man turned to him, his face sympathetic, ‘I’m sorry Jensen but I’ve given you everything I’ve got and you know how overtime works, you simply haven’t worked here long enough to get any of that.’ _

 

_ Jensen must’ve let some of the disappointment show on his face because the man placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, ‘I really am sorry Jensen.  Look, whatever it is you’re running from, it can’t be as bad as you think.  I think maybe it’s time you go home kid.’ _

 

_ Jensen tried to smile but he was fairly sure that it came out as more of a grimace instead, ‘Thanks Richard.  Just…just let me know if anything comes up, I’ll do anything.’  Richard nodded and took away the tray of empty plates and cutlery to the kitchen.   _

 

_ ‘Hey kid, did I hear that right?  You looking to make some quick cash?’  Jensen turned to the customer sitting in one of the tables at the back of the diner.  One look at the man told Jensen that he wasn’t someone he wanted to be talking to, but, as Jensen shoved his hands in his pockets, meaning to turn away and get back to work, the leather cuff around his wrist caught against the edge of the fabric.   _

 

_ Jared. _

 

_ Jensen swallowed, ‘Yeah.’   _

 

_ The man used his foot to push out the chair opposite him, ‘Take a seat.’   _

 

_ Jensen eyes flickered over to the kitchen then back to the chair before he walked, hesitantly, up to the table and took the seat.  ‘So, I run a little  _ enterprise _for guys looking to make a quick buck.  You interested?’  The man asked, his eyes watching Jensen intensely - hard enough to make him squirm a little in the seat._

 

_ ‘What would I have to do?’ _

 

_ ‘I think we both know what kind of business I’m in, kid.’  The man smiled darkly at him and a chill ran down Jensen’s spine; yeah Jensen knew alright, he’d just hoped he was wrong.  ‘But I’ll pay you well and it only has to be a one-time thing, just to get you back on your feet.’ _

 

_ Jensen bit his lip; he couldn’t believe that he was actually considering this but what other choice did he have?  Maybe if he earned enough this one time, he could get Jared to a doctor and get him better and they could both get jobs. ‘How…how much would I get?’ _

 

_ ‘Depends on what you’re willing to do,’ the man shrugged, looking a little bored.   _

 

_ ‘Um…I don’t…I think…’ _

 

_ ‘Look kid, I was just trying to do you a favour; you don’t want to do it, that’s fine, go back to your job.  I’m sure you’ll be okay,’ the man said, his gaze dropping back down to the paper on the table, effectively dismissing Jensen.  _

 

_ ‘No!’  Jensen gasped, seeing his chance slipping away.  ‘No…I…I’ll do it.’ _

 

_ ‘Hey, I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, kid,’ the man replied seriously but his tone lacked the sincerity Jensen thought the man was trying to convey.  Jensen had lived a lifetime with a liar and he knew one when he saw one and  _ this _man was definitely a liar, not that that made an awful lot of difference, of course, Jensen knew what he had to do._

 

_ ‘No.  I w…want to.  When can I…when can I do this?’ _

 

_ ‘Tonight.’  The man replied instantly. _

 

_ ‘Tonight?’  Jensen hadn’t told that Jared he was going to be late back and he didn’t want to other boy to worry.  Plus, he had Jared’s medicine in his backpack; he’d really wanted to go straight home after his shift.     _

 

_ ‘Yep, that’s when I need you, take it or leave it kid.’ _

 

_ Jensen bit his lip, trying to decide what to do; Jared probably wouldn’t even notice that he was home late anyway, the boy wasn’t really all that with it at the moment.  ‘O…okay, I’ll do it.’  Really, it was just the one time and then…then Jared would get better...yeah, that would work.  It would all work out.   _

 

_ **** _

 

_ Jensen sat on the edge of the bed in the hotel room; it was a nice place, kind of upmarket, definitely expensive.  He was alone.  The man from the diner, Mitch, had left him there about ten minutes ago with the explicit instruction not to leave the suite.  There was a one hundred dollar bill on the nightstand and Mitch had promised to add another three hundred if Jensen stayed the whole night in the suite.  Jensen had just nodded, trying not to think what so much money would buy.   _

 

_ The door opened and Mitch walked through, leading another man into the room, ‘Jesus, where do you find these kids?  They get prettier every time.’  Jensen flushed, embarrassed; there was no way to take that as a compliment, not with the way the man’s hungry gaze slithered over his face and his body.   _

 

_ ‘Just gotta know where to look, Danny.  Right, then, I’ll just leave you two to get better acquainted.  Be gentle, Dan, it’s his first time,’ Mitch smirked and walked out of the room, leaving Jensen alone with Dan. _

 

_ ‘Strip.’  Dan barked at him.  _

 

_ ‘I…I…’  Jensen stuttered, scooting up further on the bed to try and put some distance between himself and the older man.  Now that he was here, he wasn’t sure he could do this.  ‘I don’t think…’ _

 

_ ‘I don’t give a fuck what you  _ think _boy, I’ve paid for your ass and one way or another, I’m getting it,’ the man growled at him, striding towards the bed._

 

_ Jensen eyes darted to the money on the counter then back to the man.  He let out a deep breath and dropped his shaking hands to the hem of his t-shirt.  He pulled it up and over his head then let it fall, soundlessly, to the floor.  ‘Christ almighty,’ the man breathed as he crawled onto the bed, laying his hands on Jensen’s pale chest.  ‘You really are something else kid.’  The man’s calloused hands quickly moved to his belt.  _

 

_ ‘No…I don’t…’ _

 

_ The sharp backhand snapped Jensen’s jaw shut, sending pain shooting down his face and neck, ‘You wanna get paid kid?  ‘Cause if you do, I’d shut the hell up right the fuck now.’ _

 

_ And Jensen did.   _

 

_ He bit his cheek as the man undid his pants, pulling them down his legs and off.  He turned his face away, choking back his cries, as the man thrust two fingers into him; it hurt, but Jensen was no stranger to pain and this was…this was for Jared.  He would get four hundred dollars for this, this one little thing; it would all be forgotten in the morning and Jared would be okay.  That’s what Jensen told himself, over and over, as the man pushed into him and took him hard and fast, grunting and sweating on top of him, spewing out filthy words that made Jensen’s stomach turn over.   _

 

_ Finally, Jensen felt the man come, coating his insides, before he slumped down onto him.  Jensen breath hitched when the man pulled out but he stayed silent, just like he’d been told to.  ‘Thanks kid,’ was all the man said as he dropped three bills onto the bed before leaving the suite.   _

 

_ Jensen sat there for a moment, amongst the ruined sheets, just staring at them as if he could make the mess disappear if he just stared hard enough, make everything that had just happened disappear.  But then he saw the green bills resting on the bed and snatched them up, along with the hundred on the night stand.  He quickly stepped into his pants, pulled on his t-shirt and hobbled over to the door as fast as his battered body would carry him. _

 

_ Jensen flung open the door and only had a moment to register Mitch in front of him before the world went dark.  _

 

_ **** _

 

As Mike painted his face, as he _so_ loved to do, Jensen shook off the memory - no good thinking about that now.  That was years ago now and that Jensen was long gone.

 

‘God, you really were born for this, Jenny.’  Jensen just waited on his knees for Mike to leave, the mocking words barely even registering any more.  He’d heard that and worse over the years and, hell, it wasn’t like he could feel much dirtier than he already did.  ‘Looks like I can put off calling the boss for today, seeing as you were so _accommodating_ just now.’  The man smirked and then waved towards the room, ‘Get this cleaned up.’  He left Jensen still kneeling on the floor. 

 

As soon as the door shut, Jensen pulled himself to his feet and walked over to the small sink in the corner of the room.  He washed the come off his face and, carefully, didn’t look at his reflection in the mirror; he avoiding doing that as much as possible, he didn’t want to see what they all saw when they looked at him – a filthy whore.  

 

Once he was ‘clean’, Jensen walked back over to the bed and sat down.  There weren’t any chairs in the room so it was either sit on the bed or sit on the floor and, well, he’d been fucked on both so he might as well go for the more comfortable option.  

 

He moved up the bed until his back met the headboard As he sat down and, as he pulled his knees up to his chest, his fingers unconsciously swiped over his naked wrist.  Jensen remembered wrapping it around one of the new boy’s wrists, Adam or Aaron, something like that, _god_ , how awful was it that he couldn’t even remember the boy’s name?  What kind of person could forget something like that?  But Jensen had only seen him that one time; the kid had been freaking out about his first client and Mike had shoved Jensen into the boy’s room, telling him to ‘sort him out.’  And Jensen had; he’d known what happened to boy’s who made trouble and Jensen hadn’t wanted the kid to go through that.  

 

He’d taken the cuff off his wrist; it had always been a source of comfort for him even if he’d long forgotten why.  He’d wiped the tears off the kid’s cheeks and told him that everything was going to be okay; as long as he had that cuff on his arm, someone was watching over for him, no matter how bad things got, they would look after him.  The kid had obviously believed him, since he’d sniffed once more and nodded.  Jensen had smiled at the boy and left, hoping that Mitch would never find out about it.

 

But clearly Mike hadn’t been able to keep his big mouth shut and had told Mitch, he must’ve done if Jared had that cuff.  Jensen’s insides twisted painfully, thinking about what the man had probably done to the kid before he got rid of him; it wouldn’t have been pretty.  

 

And that brought him back to Jared – he couldn’t help but think about him, not now that he’d seen the man again.  _Man._ Jared was all grown up; had it really been that long?  Had he missed that much?

 

He felt tears pricking at his eyes in a way that they hadn’t done in years, in a way that had nothing to do with beatings or broken bones or blood, but everything to do with his heart breaking.  God, why did Jared have to come back now…when there was nothing of Jensen Ackles left; he wasn’t the boy that had left him ten years ago…that boy was dead and buried. 

 

For years, Jensen had hoped, _prayed_ , for someone to come, for someone to rescue him.  He hadn’t been able to believe that he could just disappear like that, that no-one would even notice that he was gone.  

 

And then one day, the pain, the disappointment, got too much and he’d just stopped.  

 

He’d stopped hoping that someone would save him, stopped praying to a God he no longer believed in, stopped picturing Jared’s face every night when he went to sleep.  That was the day that Jensen Ackles had died.

 

 


	6. Chapter Six.

** Chapter Six. **

** Jared.  **

Jared had gone back to the station with fuck all…FUCK ALL!  And no Jensen.  He’d pretty much had to white knuckle it the whole way to stop himself from turning round, going back and just tossing the stubborn bastard over his shoulder, consequences be damned.  

‘What’s eating you kid?’

Jared jumped, knocking the case file and all the crime scene photos to the floor; cursing under his breath, he quickly picked them all up and placed them back on his desk.  He looked up to find Jeff Morgan staring at him, ‘Huh?’

‘You’ve been off since we started this case, what’s up?’  Jeff asked, pulling up a chair from a neighbouring desk and sitting down in front of Jared. 

‘Nothing,’ Jared replied, letting his gaze drop to the case file, subtly avoiding those perceptive hazel eyes. 

‘Don’t bullshit a bullshitter, Padalecki.  Tell me what it is or I’m gonna have to talk you off the case.’  Jared jolted upright, his eyes wide with horror – he couldn’t be taken off this case, not this one; this was his last hope, his last chance to make up for giving up on Jensen.  

But if he told Jeff about Jensen then he’d get taken off the case anyway - conflict of interests or some shit like that.  But one look at Jeff’s face told Jared the man wasn’t going to give up until he got the truth.  And while Jared might’ve had one of the best poker faces in the FBI, there was no way he’d be able to deceive Jeff; the man could smell a lie faster than Wonder Woman and her damn lasso.  

So he decided to go with the truth and hope that his connection with Jensen wasn’t recent enough to hold any bearing on the case.  He sighed, ‘I…I know one of the guys Pileggi’s holding.  His name’s Jensen; he was a friend of mine when we were kids.’  He kept it vague; it wouldn’t help his chances of not getting benched to let Jeff know that Jensen had been so much more than his friend.  Technically, he wasn’t lying so hopefully Jeff wouldn’t pick up on it.  

Jeff stared at him for a long moment, assessing him, before he spoke again, ‘I should take you off the case for this.’  Jared flinched and was about to protest, list all the reasons why he was perfect for the case, when Jeff held up his hand, ‘But I’m not going to.  Not a lot of people know this but I got into the FBI because some bastard killed my little sister,’ Jared tried to hide his shock but judging by the small, sad smile on Jeff’s face, he didn’t think he’d been all that successful.  ‘Then one day, a couple of years after I’d made Lieutenant, I got handed this case and soon realised that my sister was one of the victims.  I should’ve stepped down right there and then but I couldn’t and I caught that son of a bitch.  And God did that feel good; felt like I’d done something for Laurie in the end.  

‘So I get it, kid, I do.  You wanna save him and maybe get your own little slice of vengeance while you’re at it.  But you gotta keep your head in the game if I let you do this; I don’t want you running in there half-cocked and fucking everything up, you got that?’  Jeff added, sternly, every inch the Captain his badge declared him to be. 

Jared nodded fervently; he wasn’t sure how he’d manage to keep his word, not when Jensen was out there all alone, vulnerable, but he’d try at least.  The last thing he wanted to do was break Jeff’s trust.  

‘Good.  And keep this close to your chest; you can tell the team, they’re good guys and they’ll keep your secret, but not anyone else, okay?  Oh, and if it does happen to get out that you were once bosom buddies with one of the vics, I didn’t know anything about it, we clear.’  It wasn’t a question, it was an order, and Jared took it as one.  ‘Right, what’ve you got?’


	7. Chapter Seven.

  
 

** Chapter Seven.  **

 

** Jared. **

 

Jared walked into the tall office building that served as the cover for Pileggi’s less than legitimate business dealings.  He winked at the girl on the desk who blushed and immediately buzzed him through; it was almost too easy.   But then he remembered why he was there and why he was so determined to bring this asshole down and his sense of accomplishment soured instantly, leaving a nasty taste in his mouth.

 

Pileggi was on the phone when Jared opened the door to the man’s office.  He signalled for Jared to sit down with a slight wave of his hand.  

 

Jared did, subtly giving the room a once over whilst the man’s attention was occupied elsewhere.  Jared knew that somewhere in that office was the key to putting the bastard away; he just needed to find it.   Pileggi’s voice snapped him out of his musings, ‘So, Jared, what did you think of my house?’

 

Jared shrugged, easily slipping into character, ‘It’s nice, I can see why it’s your best.  Don’t think you should give the whores so much space though.  Really?  Their own rooms?’

 

Mitch chuckled and poured himself a brandy before he sat down behind his desk.   ‘It’s more expensive but I’ve found that it pays in the long run; in the beginning, I’d put a couple of the boys together in one room but it took so much longer to train them.  They don’t break as easily if they’ve got people around to support them.  On their own, they’re much easier to handle.’

 

Jared nodded, despite his roiling stomach, ‘Yeah, suppose that makes sense.  So you train the kids yourself?’

 

Pileggi shot him that shark’s grin that always sent a chill down Jared’s spine and relaxed back in his chair, shaking his head, ‘I don’t really get too involved in that side of things, it’s kind of messy.  I’ve got a couple of guys on the payroll for that; they’re the best.  Train them up real good in a couple of weeks tops.’  God, he sounded fucking impressed, hell, he probably was, the sick bastard.

 

‘Yeah I saw, Jenny was very entertaining,’ Jared replied before he could stop himself.  His mind wanted to know more even though his heart was telling him to shut the hell up, that he didn’t want to know this stuff.  Clearly, his brain won out in the end.

 

The man raised an amused eyebrow, ‘So you saw Jenny?’  Jared nodded, keeping his face neutral; even he wasn’t good enough to make it look like he was enjoying this conversation.  ‘Jenny’s different, I trained him up myself.  He’s the only kid I ever got involved with before he got sent to the house.’  Jared tensed, again unsure whether he wanted to hear this or not, but something told him that he needed to if he was ever going to be able to help Jensen when this was all over.  

 

‘How long’s he been there?’  Jared asked, even though he knew the answer.  It made sense to ask, made it look like he knew nothing about the man and was genuinely curious about him.

 

‘Ten years, give or take.’  Pileggi turned towards the wall length windows that looked out over the city, ‘Couldn’t believe it when I found him; sweet enough to tempt a saint to sin and he didn’t even know it.  I was waiting to meet an associate in some no name café on 5th Avenue when I heard this kid begging his boss for more hours.  I wasn’t even really paying attention till he turned around and I saw his face.’  

 

The man chuckled darkly and Jared clenched his fists under the table, ‘He was just about the prettiest thing I’d ever seen.  So I called him over and told him what I wanted; it was obvious that he didn’t want to do it but I knew he would.  He _reeked_ of desperation; he knew what I was, what I could do to him, but there was clearly something that that kid cared more about than his own safety.  Never did find out what that was though; Jenny wouldn’t tell me no matter what I did to him.’

 

Jared’s stomach was somewhere in the region of his knees by then; he knew, _god,_ he knew what that thing was.  It was him; Jensen had been desperate to get money for _him_.  And Jared had spent the last ten years angry at him, hating him for leaving, and this had all been his fault.  

 

Fuck, he felt sick but Pileggi didn’t stop, he carried on oblivious to Jared’s distress, ‘Should’ve seen it Jared.  He cried every single time I took him for the first two months, and Jesus, I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed being the boss so fucking much.’  He threw his head back and laughed, fucking _laughed,_ and Jared wanted nothing more than to grab the bastard by the throat and squeeze the life out of him, like he’d been trained to - it would be real quick and Jared would feel a million times better afterwards.  

 

But he knew he couldn’t do that; he’d made his Captain a promise and he was damn well gonna keep it.  Didn’t make it any easier though.  ‘The first time he came with my cock up his ass, the look on his face.  I think that’s when I broke him, you know; he was such a good boy after that, gave me everything he had and more, the perfect little whore.’    

 

Jared didn’t let the seething rage show on his face; he was dead if he did but he tattooed every word on his soul and he swore right there and then that this fucker would pay for what he’d done.  He plastered on a smile, falling back on his years of training, and telling himself over and over again that he had to pull this off.  The only chance he had of saving Jensen was to stay on Pileggi’s good side, ‘I gotta say you did a great job, Boss, tightest ass I ever had.’   

 

Pileggi grinned, ‘Well I’m sure we can arrange a repeat performance in the near future, Jared, if you live up to your reputation.  Speaking of which, I’m going out of town for a few days next week and I want you to look after all the houses while I’m gone.  Each one has a handler, of course, so they shouldn’t be too much trouble but I want you to make sure that every customer gets what they want and pays up before they leave.  Think of it as a sort of test run before I hand over control to you in the long term, okay?’

 

And that was it; Jared’s opening.  Pileggi would be out of town and Jared would have a reason to get into his office to have a look around because, of _course_ , the guy running Pileggi’s string of brothels would have things he needed to check in the boss’ office - papers he needed to get, numbers he needed to find.  He was pretty sure he could convince the girl on the desk of that anyway; she wasn’t too bright if the silly smile she’d given him on his way in was any indication.  And she’d buzzed him through like it was nothing so clearly she was already a little sweet on him; which was fucking perfect as far as Jared was concerned.

 

He would be able to get the evidence they needed and they’d finally be able to get warrants for the houses.  So Jared just smiled, ‘Sure thing Boss, there’s nothing I’d like more.’

 

 


	8. Chapter Eight.

** Chapter Eight. **

 

** Jared. **

 

Jared found himself back at Pileggi’s office building a week later, armed with a suitcase filled with evidence bags, two cameras and several pairs of latex gloves.  He couldn’t afford to make any mistakes on this one; even the slightest fuck up and this guy would walk and that just wasn’t happening, not on Jared’s watch.  He walked through the lobby, aiming his most charming smile at the girl behind the desk.   _Candi_ was written on her badge – yeah, this really wasn’t gonna be that hard.  

 

She smiled back at him, all pouting lips and fluttering eyelashes, and leaned over the desk slightly to give him a good view of her chest in her low cut blouse.  _Sorry Sweetheart, you’re totally barking up the wrong tree._  Even so, Jared let his eyes drop to the proffered flesh, taking a long look like she clearly wanted him to, before he brought his gaze back up to hers and curved his lips into a predatory smile.  ‘Hey there, darlin’, now I think I know why all the guys are so eager to come up to the office.  I can see myself spending an _awful_ lot of time here over the next couple of weeks.’  She blushed and let out a shrill, high pitched giggle which made Jared want to cover his ears; he briefly wondered whether it was all the peroxide that had killed off her brain cells or if she’d just been born with none in the first place.  ‘Anyway, I need to get something from the Boss’ office, can you be a doll and buzz me through?’

 

Her smile faltered for a second, her gaze darting to Pileggi’s office and then back to Jared, ‘I’m not really supposed to…’

 

‘It’s alright, Sweetheart, the Boss okayed it; he forgot to give me Johnson’s number and I really need to talk to him.  He said it would be fine for you to let me in,’ Jared smiled reassuringly at her.  

 

She still looked a little torn, white teeth biting into her ruby red bottom lip, ‘I don’t know…’

 

Jared mentally rolled his eyes, _for fuck’s sake,_ and grabbed his cell phone from his belt, ‘Okay, I’ll just give the Boss a call and you can speak to him.  Make sure it’s alright to let me through.’  He held the phone out to her, barely suppressing a grin at her horrified face; she eyed the little black device like it was going to eat her. 

 

‘No…no…that’s okay.  I’m sure it’s fine; Mr Pileggi doesn’t like interruptions.’  She quickly buzzed him through and Jared heard the lock on Pileggi’s office door snick open. 

 

‘Only if you’re sure, Sweetheart?’  He asked, his voice honey smooth.

 

She nodded fervently, unnecessarily pushing the button again; it made Jared think that perhaps the girl _had_ made the mistake of calling Pileggi on one of his business trip before and suffered the consequences.  Not that he really cared either way, if you play with fire, you get burned; plus her fear served Jared’s purpose.  ‘Okay great, I’ll see you in a bit, Sugar.’

 

And with that Jared strode over to Pileggi’s office and locked the door, even Peroxide Barbie wouldn’t be able to buzz anyone in with the door manually locked from the inside.  He quickly got out his tools, laying them carefully on Pileggi’s desk, and pulled on a pair of latex gloves.  

 

Jared made quick work of the desk, finding nothing but files pertaining to the fake company of the fake office building he was currently standing in – not a huge surprise since the man would need paperwork to make the cover credible.  He moved to the bookcase next but again came up empty, just finding more of the same and nothing incriminating in the lot.  He taped lightly along each wall, hoping to hear the echo of a secret room or corridor but they were all solid. 

 

He looked around the room; there weren’t many more places to look and Jared felt a little knot of worry low in his gut; what if he didn’t find what he needed?  He wouldn’t get another shot at this, not after Candi told Pileggi that Jared had been in there, _without_ his permission - his cover would be well and truly blown and they still wouldn’t have what they needed. 

 

He walked over to the wall length windows to get a better look at the room as a whole.  It didn’t do much good; he still couldn’t see anywhere that Pileggi might hide the stuff from his other businesses.  But just as Jared was about to give up and call Jeff for some advice, his eyes fell upon a large rug in the centre of the room and he hesitated.  Something about the lush rug seemed off, out of place in Pileggi’s sheer metal and glass office.  Jared glanced around the office; there were no pictures on the walls, no pots of flowers, nothing aesthetic or warm in the room, so the rug seemed like an odd addition to the minimalist decor.  

 

Jared crossed the room and tossed it aside.  He smiled when he uncovered a small trap door cut into the wood of the floor – _gotcha!_

 

Jared tore open the hatch, his mouth falling open in shock at what he found; six jars of slightly murky liquid, each containing a body part.  It appeared Pileggi liked to keep souvenirs after all.  Jared quickly grabbed his camera and took a picture of the cubby hole from every angle.  He then took out some evidence bags and started bagging and tagging each of the items.  

 

This would be more than enough to get them a warrant for all the houses and would serve as a very persuasive piece of evidence when the case came to trial.  Along with the evidence they would undoubtedly find in the houses themselves, Jared knew the case was solid.  

 

He quickly deposited each bagged jar in his suitcase, strapping them into the lining to keep them from breaking, and shoved his gloves into his pocket.  He re-covered the trap door with the rug and straightened his suit before unlocking the office door and walking out into the lobby.  

 

Jared gave Candi another winning smile.  ‘I’ll see you soon, Sweetheart,’ he called as he walked past – yeah, he’d see her _very_ soon, behind bars, along with every other scum bag even slightly connected to Pileggi.   His smile widened as he strode out into the bright sunlight; yeah that was gonna be a good day.

 

 


	9. Chapter Nine.

 

  
** Chapter Nine. **

** Jensen.  **

Jensen jolted awake at the bang of his bedroom door.  Before he knew what was happening, someone was dragging him out of bed by his hair.  Jensen gasped in pain as he man twisted his wrist viciously, all but tearing out the strands caught in his fist.  He struggled and fought more than he had in years; his brain still too sluggish from sleep to register the consequences of disobedience.  

Soon, Jensen was being dragged to his knees and his jaw held in a tight grip, bringing his face level with Mitch’s.  And what he saw there, written across the man’s features…Jensen shuddered and recoiled away – the pure, unadulterated anger aimed at him sent a shiver down his spine.  

The clear sound of gunshot had Jensen’s head whipping round, his jaw tearing free of Mitch’s hand.  ‘NYPD, open up!’ Echoed through the building and Jensen’s heart stuttered in his chest; Jared had come back, Jared had come back _for him_.  

Mitch grabbed him again, gripping Jensen’s wrists tight with his claw like fingers, but this time, instead of the heavy fear that had settled in his gut before, Jensen felt light and free.  He was going to be rescued, he was going to be _safe_ for the first time in ten years.  He yanked his wrists away from Mitch and stumbled backwards, putting some distance between them – all he needed to do was wait for Jared to come.  He could do that.  

‘Enough of that boy.  Get over here,’ Mitch ordered, the words pitched low and dangerous, and before Jared’s visit, Jensen would’ve obeyed so damn fast heads would’ve spun.  That thought alone made him feel sick.  

But now…now he had something to hold on to, something to hope for.  Now he had Jared.  

So Jensen just shook his head, backing further away from the man who’d served as his tormentor and jailer for almost half his life.  Pileggi pulled out a gun from the waistband of his pants and trained it on Jensen, his voice was hard as he spoke, ‘You’re coming with me.’

‘No…no I’m not.’  _No, I’m going to be rescued, finally._ He wasn’t going with Mitch; if he did, Jared would never find him again, not after the man was finished with him.  No, Jensen would rather die than have that happen so he stood his ground, his mouth set in a determined line.  

Jensen could hear the police pounding against the door downstairs; only a few more minutes and they’d be through and this would all be over.  

Mitch’s jaw ticked angrily as he stared at Jensen from across the room, their eyes locked.  A long moment later, the man swore harshly and turned to the door, wrenching it open and disappearing through it, leaving Jensen alone.  Confused by Mitch’s sudden change of heart, Jensen stood frozen in place.  

But another loud bang from downstairs was enough to jolt his brain back to life and Jensen immediately ran over to the door, tearing it open and dashing into the corridor outside.  ‘Stop!’  Years of training had Jensen stopping in the middle of the hall and whirling round at the order.  

Mitch was standing with Jaime, his gun pressed to the boy’s head just behind his ear.  ‘You’re coming with me,’ Mitch said again, jabbing the boy hard enough with the gun to make both him and Jensen wince.  

And just like that Jensen saw his freedom slipping away; the cops were still banging on the door, trying to get inside - they’d never get there in time to stop Mitch from blowing the kid’s head off.  And _Jesus_ , he couldn’t have been more than twenty years old, maybe younger, and Jensen just couldn’t let it happen.  Nodding jerkily, Jensen took the hardest step he’d taken in his whole life and made his way slowly down the corridor towards Mitch and Jaime, ‘Good boy, knew you’d see this my way eventually.’  

Jensen risked one more furtive look over his shoulder, hoping to see the blue of a police uniform, but there was nothing but the endless pounding that shook the house with every blow.  

Jensen closed his eyes, defeated, and followed Mitch down the corridor.  To have freedom within his reach and then have it so cruelly ripped from him, Jensen couldn’t help but wonder whether it would’ve been better had Jared never found him at all.  

 


	10. Chapter Ten.

 

** Chapter Ten.  **

 

** Jared. **

 

Jared gave the door one more hard whack and finally, _finally,_ it buckled, the hinges wrenching away from the frame.  He immediately dropped the battering ram and stepped over the broken door into the house, his gun raised in front of him.  He could hear Genevieve behind him, opening every door, but the frequent calls of ‘clear’ and ‘medic’ sounded far off as Jared doggedly made his way up to Jensen’s room.  

 

When he got there, he kicked open the door, ready to shoot anyone who stood between him and Jensen - he wasn’t going to let anyone get between them ever again.  

 

But Jensen wasn’t there.  

 

Jared spun round, his gun still cocked and ready, but there was no-one else in the room.  Panic flooded through his veins and Jared turned and ran back to his team and the paramedics.  He quickly walked over to group of boys who’d been rescued but…but Jensen wasn’t with them.  

 

He grabbed Genevieve by the arms, his hands gripping her tightly, ‘Have you checked every room?’

 

‘Jared…what…?’

 

‘Have you?!’  He all but shouted.  

 

‘Yes, we’ve checked every room; we got everyone out,’ she answered, wincing slightly at the grip he had on her arms.  Seeing that, Jared immediately let go and backed away; the guilt he felt for hurting his partner was nothing compared to the guilt he felt for failing Jensen though.

 

‘Not everyone,’ Jared said quietly, turning his face back to the now empty house.   ‘Jensen wasn’t there.’

 

Genevieve gasped, ‘Oh Jared, I’m so sorry.’  She came closer and pulled him into a hug; he realised then that he was crying, his shoulders shaking and tears running down his cheeks.  He wrapped his arms around her tiny body and held on tight as the grief washed through him.  

 

‘I should’ve gotten him out when I had the chance; I fucking left him here!’  Jared hissed, his voice filled with self-reproach.

 

‘You couldn’t have, Jay; you know that as well as I do.  And Jensen knew it too.  Pileggi would’ve known we were onto him and killed all these boys if you’d taken Jensen when you’d wanted to.  Jensen would never have forgiven you for that,’ Genevieve reasoned.

 

‘I don’t care!’ Jared shouted, pulling away, ‘Least he would’ve been alive!’

 

‘Jared, we don’t know that he’s dead.  We should keep looking,’ Genevieve said, her eyes soft.  

 

‘Right ‘cause Pileggi’s known for leaving evidence behind,’ Jared replied sarcastically.  His mind drifted back to the boys they’d found and he shivered at the thought of Jensen going through that, at Jensen having a part of him sliced off and kept in a jar in some psycho’s office.  

 

And what was worse, Jared remembered Jensen’s disbelieving face, that smile he’d given Jared just before he’d left, the one that said he didn’t really expect Jared to come back and save him.  

 

But Jared had told Jensen he would, he’d _promised_ to rescue him, and now he hadn’t - he’d let Jensen down again.  

 

‘Well he’s taken him for a reason, Jay, and I think we both know that it isn’t to kill him.  From what you said, Jensen seemed to be the guy’s favourite; he’s probably going to keep him alive for a little longer at least.  That gives us some time to find him.’

 

‘Even if Pileggi hasn’t killed him yet, he’s going to be so well hidden that there’s no way we’ll ever find them again.  It’s hopeless,’ Jared replied, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

 

‘So you’re just gonna give up, Padalecki?  Leave Jensen to God knows what fate?  Wow, I thought you said you cared about the guy, you’ve certainly got funny way of showing it,’ Jeff said from behind them, disappointment lacing every word.  

 

‘No…no…it’s not like that...,’ Jared argued.  This wasn’t a choice he was making; he didn’t _want_ to give up on Jensen.  It was just that there wasn’t any hope left to hold on to, finding the man would be impossible.

 

‘That’s _exactly_ what it sounds like to me,’ Jeff growled.   

 

They glared at each other for a long moment, before Jared relented and turned his face away.  Jeff was right, he couldn’t just walk away from this; he would never be able to live with not knowing, he was sure of that much.  

 

He’d spent ten years of his life looking for Jensen, enduring disappointment after disappointment, and he couldn’t just abandon that or everything he’d done would’ve been for nothing.  No, he couldn’t stop until they found Jensen even if…even if he was dead.    ‘Alright I’m in,’ Jared said as he brought his face back to Jeff’s, determination written in every line of his body.  

 

Jeff lips tugged up in a slight smile, ‘Good, then get your ass down to the station and start looking for leads; Pileggi can’t have gotten far with your boy.’

 

 


	11. Chapter Eleven.

 

** Chapter Eleven. **

** Jared. **

Michael Rosenbaum, the man who’d taken Jared to Jensen all those weeks ago, sat in the chair opposite Jared and Jeff.  They’d been at this for over two hours and they still hadn’t managed to get the asshole to tell them where Pileggi was hiding.  

Mike might have been a creep but, _apparently,_ he was a loyal creep.  And wasn’t that just _fucking_ fantastic; the guy had absolutely no morals to speak of yet, somehow, he seemed to think loyalty was important.  Jared could understand Mike not squealing on his boss if he was scared but there was such an air arrogance about the man that made Jared think it was something else.  It was almost like Mike thought he and Pileggi were friends, like he thought that he was _important_ to the man.  If that was the case, then, boy was he deluded.

‘Should’ve fucking known there was something wrong with you when you came out looking so pissed off; no-one _ever_ leaves my Jenny anything but completely satisfied,’ Mike leered across the table at Jared.  Jared tamped down the wave of hot anger that pulsed through him at the man’s words; Jared knew Mike was trying to get a rise out of him and he wasn’t going to let that happen.  That was not how this was going to go.    A note nudged against Jared’s fingers, 

_ My _ _ Jenny?? _

Was scrawled across the white bit of paper.  Jared nodded slightly; he knew what his boss was getting at and, yeah, Jared thought they could use that to their advantage.  ‘So, Mikey, how does it feel knowing that your boss got away scot free?’

The man just shrugged, ‘Don’t know what you’re talking about.  The house is mine.’

‘Really?  We kind of hoped that he was the one who’d taken Jensen but if he doesn’t exist then obviously that’s not right.  And since you’re here, then, you probably don’t know where Jensen is either so…’  Jared got up to leave and tapped Jeff on the shoulder to get him up as well.  He smiled to himself, though, when he caught the frown on Mike’s face - _bingo_.

‘He took Jenny with him?’  Michael asked, his voice hard, all illusion of nonchalance broken.

Jared didn’t turn around, he just shrugged and spoke over his shoulder as he reached for the door, ‘Yeah, he got out before we busted in, lucky bastard.  They’re probably half way to Mexico by now.’

Mike slammed his fist down on the table, ‘That _asshole_.  He fucking promised me.’

‘Who?’  Jared asked, keeping his tone light but, finally, turning back round.  Jeff was standing a little off to the side now, staying out of the way and trying not to distract Mike from Jared. 

The man was staring at the table top, his fingers gripping the edges tightly, ‘He _fucking_ said I could have Jenny once this all calmed down.’  Jared didn’t think Mike had even heard his question; it was clear the man was talking more to himself than to Jared.

Jared sat back down, getting Mike to focus on him again; he had to tread carefully here – Jared needed to push Mike enough that his anger would force to say something he wouldn’t normally disclose whilst making sure not to push so far that Mike realised he was being played and backed off, ‘You’re going to prison, Mike, how did you think you were gonna get Jensen from there?’

‘The boss was gonna get me off, as long as I stayed and got arrested, he was gonna get me out.’  

Jared rolled his eyes, _fucking idiot_.  ‘Yeah, well like I said, we heard your boss has fled the country and taken Jensen with him.’

Mike snorted, ‘Of course he hasn’t; he’s gone to the Three Lakes; he always goes there when it gets too hot for him in the city, the fucking pussy.’  

Jared let himself smile then; that was exactly what they needed.  ‘Is that right? Well, thanks _so_ much for correcting our mistake Mikey,’ Jared said, mock sincerity colouring his voice.

Mike’s head shot up, his eyes widening as he took in Jared’s smug grin.   The look of abject horror that spread across the man’s face once he realised that he’d been played was priceless. ‘I mean…I don’t _know_ that… come to think of it, he might’ve said something about Mexico the last time I saw him, yeah, actually, I’m…I’m sure he did.  Something about liking the weather or something.  Yeah…so yeah.’  He finished nervously, his face pale and his eyes darting frantically between Jared and Jeff.  

Jared smiled and leaned over the table, getting right in Mike’s face, ‘Enjoy your time in prison Mikey; we all know how much guys in there love snitches.’  The nervous swallow he heard was incredibly satisfying.  

Jared pulled back quickly and left the room, Jeff hot on his heels.  ‘We’ve got it; come on, we need to leave now.’

 


	12. Chapter Twelve.

  
 

** Chapter Twelve. **

** Jared. **

They burst through the hotel door, Jared in the lead, Jeff and Genevieve following close behind.  

The scene before them looked more like the set of a horror movie than one of the most expensive hotel rooms in the city; there was a dead body on the floor, blood leaching across the once white carpet, and Jensen, _his_ Jensen was bent over the edge of the bed with a pair of handcuffs trapping his hands against the small of his back.  

Pileggi had pulled out as soon as they’d kicked in the door and Jared jerked back slightly when he saw the mixture of come and blood drip down Jensen’s trembling legs where he lay slumped on the bed.  

Jared didn’t think twice, couldn’t; it was like he just shut down and he couldn’t get past the sea of red swimming in front of his eyes.  He marched across the room and pistol whipped the bastard right across the face, knocking him to the floor unconscious.  

Jared didn’t spare the man another glance before he moved quickly over to Jensen’s side, ‘Jen?’  He said softly, his hand hovering just above the man’s bruised back, unsure as to whether the touch would be welcome right then. Jared didn’t know how lucid Jensen was at that moment and he didn’t want the man to think that it was Pileggi touching him.  

Unsurprising Jensen didn’t reply, his face remaining buried in the covers of the bed.  Jared clenched his jaw, forcing himself to focus, to stay calm; he couldn’t afford to lose it, not until he’d gotten Jensen out of there.  ‘Jared?’  Jared looked up at the call of his name and saw Jeff kneeling down by Pileggi body; he caught the keys the man threw at him.  He quickly undid the cuffs on Jensen’s wrists, wincing at the red raw circles etched into the skin.  

‘Okay, Jen, I’m gonna pick you up now and take you down to the paramedics.’ Jared kept his voice soft and soothing, so even if Jensen didn’t fully understand what he was saying, hopefully he wouldn’t feel threatened, ‘They’re gonna take real good care of you, alright?’  

No response.  

Jared sighed but proceeded with his plan; he didn’t want to wait for the paramedics to get up there and, to be honest, he really just wanted to get Jensen out of that room as soon as possible.

He leaned down and hefted Jensen up into his arms, grimacing at the blood and cuts that covered the man’s face.  Jensen’s eyes just stared forwards, unblinking, not even acknowledging Jared’s presence.  Deep down Jared would’ve preferred Jensen to fight him, to punch and kick and scream at him, anything was better than that empty green gaze; had Pileggi finally broken Jensen after all?

‘It’s alright, it’s gonna be alright, Jen,’ Jared whispered into Jensen’s hair as he clutched the man close and carried him across the hotel room, ignoring the sympathetic looks from his team.  He couldn’t deal with those _and_ Jensen right then; Jensen needed him to be strong and Jared wasn’t going to let him down.  Not again. 

Jared took Jensen down the stairs and out of the hotel.  He quickly strode over to the ambulance and laid Jensen down on one of the gurneys.  Immediately, two medics swooped down on Jensen and began to check his pulse, his blood pressure, his eyes, everything, just to make sure there was nothing that couldn’t wait until they got him to the hospital. 

Jared stood back, watching anxiously, until one of the paramedics, Jacob, turned round and gave him a small smile, ‘He’s going to be alright but he’s going to need to spend a little time in the hospital with some of these injuries.’  The man sighed heavily, ‘There’s evidence that he’s been violently sexually assaulted and there’s probably a considerable amount of tearing which I can’t do much about, besides giving him some heavy duty pain meds, till we get to Winchester General.

‘As for the psychological damage,’ Jacob took Jared’s arm and led him slightly further away from Jensen, just out of earshot; Jared was too tired to point out that it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference if they were standing a foot or ten thousand feet away, Jensen would never hear them – it was painfully clear that Jensen wasn’t with them right then, ‘Well honestly, I’m not getting anything from him, not even a flinch, and that’s unusual for rape victims. Mostly they can’t stand to be touched but when I was examining Jensen, it was like he didn’t even know I was there.  I think it’s safe to say he’s gonna need to talk to someone before he leaves the hospital and probably for a long time afterwards as well.’  

Jared nodded; he agreed completely with everything Jacob had said and he would make sure that Jensen got all the help he needed.  ‘Thank you.  Is it alright if I ride with him to the hospital?’

‘Sure.  You need to tell your team you’re leaving?’  The man asked as he began repacking his bag of equipment.  

Jared shook his head, ‘No.’  Everyone would know where he’d gone.

‘Great, jump on in then and we can get moving,’ Jacob said, manoeuvring Jensen’s gurney into the back of the ambulance before jumping in himself.  Jared climbed in behind the paramedic and took a seat by Jensen’s side, grabbing the man’s hand and squeezing tight, resolutely ignoring the way Jensen’s hand stayed limp in his.  

 


	13. Chapter Thirteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS SOOO SCHMOOPY GUYS YOU MIGHT WANNA BRUSH YOUR TEETH BEFORE AND AFTER READING IT! PLUS GRAPHIC VIOLENCE AS WELL.

** Chapter Thirteen. **

** Jared.  **

Jared stood watching Jensen from the doorway of his room; the man sat close to the wall staring out the window of his hospital room, completely still, his face eerily blank.  Jared had spoken to Jensen’s doctor; apparently Jensen hadn’t spoken or slept without heavy sedation since the paramedics had brought him in three days ago.  He’d let the doctors examine him but Dr James had said that they found Jensen’s obvious detachment from situation ‘worrisome.’  _Worrisome,_ it was a damn sight more than worrisome.  Regardless, Jared had just nodded and waited for the man to walk away. 

And now, Jared was at war with himself as to whether to go into that room or not.  This was the first time that he’d been allowed to see Jensen, now that the man had been moved from the ICU, and Jared wasn’t too proud to admit that he was scared shitless.  

He’d failed Jensen again; he’d waited too fucking long to get him out, and Lord only knew what Pileggi had done to Jensen before Jared had gotten there.  Jensen’s body was littered with cuts and bruises; nothing deep enough to scar or leave any permanent damage - the other victims had told them that Pileggi’s trainers had used all manners of torture to get the boys to comply that left no scars on their bodies and clearly Pileggi was well versed in those methods as well – but Jared was sure every blow had hurt nonetheless.  There might be no physical scars on Jensen, but the mental ones ran deep, possibly deeper than Jared could ever get to.  

But Jensen needed someone right then and who did he have but Jared, poor knight in shining armour that he was?  Plus, he’d promised Jensen all those years ago that he would love and protect him, no matter what, so walking away just wasn’t an option any more, not that it ever had been really.  

So Jared made his decision, squared his shoulders and walked into the room.  He pulled up a chair beside Jensen, slightly unnerved by the fact the man didn’t turn from the window at his entrance.  Jared placed a gentle hand on Jensen’s shoulder - nothing, Jensen just kept staring out that damn window.  ‘Jen?’ He said quietly.  

Still nothing.  

Jared sat there, his hand on Jensen’s shoulder for a long time, hoping that he was providing some sort of comfort by his presence.   Finally, as the sky began to darken outside, Jensen spoke for the first time since they’d rescued him.  His voice sounded hoarse from disuse and things Jared didn’t want to think about, ‘Is Jaime here?’

Jared frowned in confusion; of all the things he’d expected Jensen to say when he eventually spoke, it hadn’t been that, ‘Who?’

‘The boy in the hotel room,’ Jensen clarified, his voice dull and lifeless.  _Oh._   The _dead_ boy in the hotel room, the other hooker Pileggi had taken from the house.

‘Yeah, yeah he’s down in the morgue, Jen.’  Jared squeezed Jensen’s shoulder slightly; he couldn’t imagine how difficult this must be for his friend.  

‘I want to see him,’ Jensen said in that same flat monotone.  

‘Jen, I really don’t think…’

‘No, I need to see him,’ Jensen interrupted with a hint of determination lacing his words.  

Jared sighed and nodded; if this was what it took to break Jensen out of his fugue then Jared would do it.  But he’d be there the whole time, ready to pick up the pieces if, _when,_ Jensen needed him to.  ‘Come on let’s get you into your wheelchair, I’ll take you down.’  

Jensen allowed himself to be manhandled into the chair, hardly offering any assistance; he just sat there and let Jared lift him and set him down again.  Jared didn’t mind, of course, but it worried him that Jensen was so clearly not there…god only knew where the man really was. 

He wheeled Jensen down to the morgue in silence; he had no idea what to say, he’d never been in this situation before.  Whenever he’d taken families down to the morgue, he’d _always_ known the right thing to say but this was so different; he had no idea who this boy was to Jensen nor did he delude himself that this wasn’t exactly how Jensen had always thought his own life would end – on a cold slab in some no name hospital once Pileggi had finally gotten bored with him.  

Jared pushed the chair through the double doors and wheeled it over to the slab with the boy’s body on it. _Christ._   No matter how many times Jared did this, it didn’t get any easier.  And this kid was young, really young, and that was always so much worse.  

Jensen didn’t move at first, then he reached out a shaking hand and brushed the messy, light brown bangs boy’s off his forehead and Jared heard him whisper, ‘I’m so sorry, Jaime.  I’m so fucking sorry.’

Jared frowned; what on earth did Jensen have to feel sorry for?  He didn’t get time to wonder about it, though, because suddenly Jensen was crying, and it was like the dam breaking.  Jensen was sobbing in the chair, his chest heaving and his shoulders shaking, as he held the dead boy’s hand tightly and whispered over and over again how sorry he was.  

Jared, immediately, dropped to his knees and grabbed Jensen’s shoulders, gently pushing him back into the chair and urging the man to look at him, ‘Jen, what’s wrong?’

Jensen met his eyes for just a moment before they skittered away again and he shook his head sharply once.  

‘Come on Jen, talk to me, you know you can tell me anything,’ Jared pleaded as his thumbs rubbed soothing circles into Jensen’s shoulders through the hospital gown, hoping to calm the man down.  

It must have worked, even if only slightly, because Jensen’s sobs tapered off a little; no more body racking sobs, just a silent weeping.  And Jared wasn’t sure which was worse.  He continued to rub Jensen’s shoulders, waiting for Jensen to answer him.  The man bit his lip, indecision written all over his tear stained face, and turned back towards Jared but his eyes remained fixed his lap.  His shoulders hitched slightly every now and again as he struggled to control his breathing and keep from breaking down again, ‘I don’t…It was…It was my fault.’

‘Jen…’

‘No, Jared, it really is.’  Jensen had one hand in his lap, curled into a fist, whilst the other still held Jaime’s hand where it hung over the side of the table.  ‘A…after the first few years with Mitch, I decided that maybe dying wouldn’t be so bad if this was what the rest of my life was gonna be like so the guns didn’t really work on me anymore.  So…so he changed it to something I actually cared about.’  

Jensen made a bitter, angry sound that made Jared flinch at how wrong it sounded coming from the sweet boy he’d once known. Jensen lifted his face then but his eyes focused on Jaime and still not on Jared, ‘One day I managed to break out of my room and stole the keys from Michael; I was almost out the door when Mitch called me back.  He had this kid with him; he couldn’t have been more than 18 and Mitch had a knife pressed to his throat.  He told me, right there and then, if I pulled anything like that again, he’d slit the kid’s throat right in front of me.’  Jared barely held back his gasp of horror at that image; he couldn’t risk interrupting Jensen, who knew if Jared would ever be able to get Jensen to talk about this again and Jensen needed to, Jared was sure of that.  It was like drawing poison from a wound; Jensen needed to get this stuff out or it would fester and destroy him from the inside out.

‘That made me nice and docile alright – I might not’ve cared about my life anymore but…but I couldn’t let him hurt someone else because of me.  But…when we got to that hotel room, he told me to get on my knees and I just…I couldn’t…I couldn’t do it any more, I just wanted it all over – I just wanted him to kill me and then…then I’d finally have some peace.’  Jensen closed his eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath, his eyes still on Jaime, ‘I’d forgotten he was even there; my head was all over the place and Mitch had shoved him into the bathroom as soon as we’d gotten in the room.  So _fucking_ stupid.  But as soon as I’d said it, as soon as I’d said no, Mitch marched over to the bathroom and pulled Jaime out.  

‘He stood in front of me, his knife pressed against Jaime’s neck, and I’d begged, _pleaded_ , told him I’d do anything he wanted but he just shook his head and told me that I had to learn. He…he slit Jaime’s throat right in front of me.’  Jensen’s breath hitched, the tears falling thick and fast again, ‘There…there was so…so much blood, it got everywhere – all over me, and Mitch and Jaime, the white carpet was just this huge pool of red by the time Mitch let him fall to the floor.  

‘I…I couldn’t look at anything else, just at all that blood and Jaime, just lying there, his arm twisted all wrong at his side.  I…I didn’t even notice when Mitch put the handcuffs on me and…and after that I…’ Jensen trailed off, his jaw clenching before he turned to look Jared right in the eyes, ‘So you gonna sit there and tell me that that wasn’t my fault?’

_ Jesus Christ.   _ And what could Jared say to that?  How could he possibly get through to Jensen when the man had everything so twisted up inside his mind that Jared couldn’t even see a loose end to begin untangling it?  So he said the only thing he could, the truth; ‘Yeah I am, ‘cause it’s true, Jensen.  The _only_ person to blame for Jaime’s death is Pileggi,’ Jensen snorted, clearly unconvinced, and looked away.

So Jared tried a different tack, hoping this one would make more of an impact, ‘Or am I to blame for what happened to you?’  Jensen’s eyes swung back to his, wide with shock, ‘’Cause it was my fault you took Pileggi up on his offer that night, so do you blame me?’  Jared asked, already knowing the answer but hoping this would get his point across.  

‘That…that’s not the same thing,’ Jensen replied, his voice soft and distant, perhaps lost in the memory of that night ten years ago.  

‘It’s _exactly_ the same thing and if you keep blaming yourself for what Pileggi did, Jen, it’ll destroy you.’  Jared said seriously; no doubt about it, if Jensen didn’t let this go, it would eat away at him until one day he just couldn’t handle it anymore.  Jared shuddered at that thought.  

‘Not much left to destroy,’ Jensen said, his voice full of self-contempt. 

Jared shook his head, ‘That’s not true Jensen.  You’re still the boy I knew, you’re still the boy I fell in love with when I was young enough to think that was the only thing that mattered.  And I love you like I loved you back then,’ Jared admitted quietly; it was true, even in the years he’d tried to hate Jensen, he’d still loved him more than words could ever possibly say.

Jensen smiled at him then, a smile so sad, it broke Jared’s heart just to see it, ‘You were always so loving Jay; you had this huge heart, no matter how bad the person was.’  Jensen stroked a hand down Jared’s cheek, as a tear fell down his own, ‘You loved me even after you saw how weak I was with my step father but…but, Jared, you can’t love me like this, not after everything I’ve done.’  Jensen sighed, ‘And I wouldn’t want you to.’    

Jared frowned because that made absolutely no sense, ‘Why the hell not?’

Jensen pursed his lips together in a tight line, ‘You deserve someone amazing Jared, not some _broken_ toy; I’ll never be what you need, Jared, what you deserve.  I won’t let you settle for someone like me when you could have anyone out there.’ 

Jared jaw ticked angrily; that was just about the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard.  If this whole fucked up mess had shown him anything, it was that Jensen _was_ still the same person Jared had always known – if Jensen was as ‘broken’ as he wanted Jared to believe, he would never have gotten so upset about Jaime’s death.  ‘Well what if you’re exactly what I want, huh?’

Jensen turned those beautiful, sad eyes on him then, tears pooling in their green depths, ‘Then I’ll have to save you from yourself; I won’t damn you to this.’

Suddenly, Jared was on his feet and lifting Jensen out of the chair and hugging him to his chest, supporting his weight completely.  ‘You don’t get to make that decision for me.  I searched for you for too damn long to let you get away now.  I love you, I’ve _always_ loved you, and I’ll love you for the rest of my life whether you want me to or not.’  He kissed Jensen’s temple softly before adding, ‘And you _are_ worth that love, Jensen, even if you can’t see it; you’re strong and beautiful and kind and I’ll spend the rest of my life getting you to believe that.’  

Jensen sagged against his chest, for a moment, until his arms came up to wrap around Jared’s neck.  And then he was crying again, his face buried in Jared’s neck, ‘Why did you have to come now, huh?  When there’s nothing left?  When I…I can’t be what I always wanted to be for you?  Why?  I waited for so many years but now…now there’s nothing left.’

‘Shhh, it’s okay, Jensen, it’s gonna be alright.’  Jared soothed, ‘I’m sorry I took so long; I’ll never forgive myself for not finding you sooner but you’re so wrong, baby, so wrong, you’re exactly what I want just the way you are.’  He turned and sat down in Jensen’s empty wheelchair and pulled Jensen into his lap.  He let Jensen cry against him, his hands fisted in the front of Jared’s shirt and Jared stroking down his back.  They sat there for a long time, wrapped around each other, long after Jared’s legs had gone numb, but there was nowhere on earth Jared would rather be.  

 


	14. Chapter Fourteen.

  
 

** Chapter Fourteen. **

** Jensen. **

‘The court finds the defendant, Mitch Pileggi, not guilty on all charges.’  Jensen blinked. _Wait, what?  How was that possible?_

He looked up at Jared next to him, feeling lost and confused and a million other things he couldn’t name.  ‘Jay?’  His breath hitched, and he realised he was shaking, ‘What…what does that mean?’

Jared turned to him, his eyes blazing and his jaw set, and Jensen flinched back slightly at the rage he saw on his boyfriend’s face.  ‘I…I…don’t understand.’  Jensen whispered, begging Jared to make this right.  

Jared tucked him into his side, wrapping his arm around Jensen’s shoulder, ‘It’s going to be alright, Jen, I promise.’  Jensen shook his head as he slowly registered what had just happened – no, nothing was going to be alright; Mitch was going to walk free and he was going to find Jensen and take him back and hurt him and do all those terrible things he spent years doing to him and…and… ‘Jen, baby, you need to calm down.  Breathe.’  

Suddenly, Jensen’s head was between his legs and Jared’s large hand was settled on the small of his back.  He closed his eyes and tried to do what Jared asked; he took a deep breath in through his nose, ‘I can’t go back to that, Jared, I can’t.’

‘I know, baby, it’s gonna be alright, ‘Jared said again, his hand now stroking the bottom of Jensen’s back soothingly.  Finally, when Jensen felt like he wasn’t going to pass out anymore, he sat back on the bench.  ‘I just need to use the bathroom, Jen, you’ll be okay with Jeff for a little while, yeah?’  Jensen wanted to say no, he didn’t want Jared to leave him, but that was ridiculous; Jensen couldn’t spend the every waking moment at Jared’s side, no matter how much he might want to, so he just nodded.  Jared leaned down and kissed Jensen on the forehead, ‘Be back soon, baby.’

And then he was gone and Jensen was sat with Jeff, watching the police escort Pileggi out of the court room.  The man threw Jensen a smile full of dark promises that Jensen knew he had every intention of fulfilling.  Jensen shivered and moved closer to Jeff; he wasn’t Jared but he knew Jeff would protect him.  ‘Where’s Jay gone, Jensen?’  The older man asked, as he leaned forwards and tried to shield Jensen from Mitch as much as possible.  

‘Bathroom,’ Jensen mumbled.  

Jeff stiffened for a second before standing up and placing a hand on Jensen’s shoulder.  ‘Come on, we’ll wait for Jared outside.’  Jensen nodded and got up, following Jeff out of the court room.  As they stood outside waiting for Jared to return, Jensen couldn’t help imagining all the ways Mitch might try to get him back and every one of them involved Jared getting hurt and that scared Jensen more than anything.

He was pulled from those morbid thoughts, though, by a gunshot and a terrified scream.

Jeff was by his side in an instant, his gun drawn, ‘Stay behind me Jensen.’  

Jensen backed away, gasping when he walked into someone.  But as soon as the strong arm wrapped around his waist, he knew it was Jared behind him, leading him away and into one of the side rooms.  ‘Stay here, Jen, and lock the door,’ he said quickly before dashing out of the room, leaving Jensen, stunned and frightened, behind.

****

** Jared. **

Jared exited the room and put his gun away; he knew there wasn’t any danger.  He looked down to see Jeff sitting on one of the benches outside the courtroom; people were running down the corridors, frantically calling for ambulances and the police, but he just walked over and took a seat next to his Captain. 

‘You know I check out everyone who applies to my team before I even let them think about letting them in.  You graduated top of your class in the rifle training, maxed out on the exam; they wanted you for sniper duty but you were adamant that you wanted to come to New York.  Funny that,’ Jeff said casually, his gaze trained on the wall opposite them.

‘Yeah it is.’

The older man sighed before turning to look at Jared, ‘I know what you did, Jay, and I don’t blame you but you don’t get to tell anyone about this.  Not Jensen, not your priest, not anyone, because that man might’ve been a monster but you’ll still go to prison for what you just did, you hear me.’

Jared nodded; he knew that, he’d known it when he packed his rifle that morning, he’d known it when he’d hidden in the third floor bathroom and he’d known it when he’d pulled the trigger.  And it didn’t matter; it was a burden that he would gladly bear if it meant that that bastard could never come after Jensen again.  The fucker had finally paid for what he’d done to the love of Jared’s life, he’d paid for all the years he’d stolen from them and the parts of Jensen that Jared wasn’t sure he’d ever be able get back.  

‘Good, glad we understand each other.  Now you go and fetch your boy while I try and sort out this circus.’  Jeff stood up and straightened his suit before walking off to deal the media, the police, the public…everything.  But Jared wasn’t concerned with any of that; the only thing he cared about was locked up in the room next door.

Jared got to his feet and knocked on the door, ‘Jen, you can open the door now, it’s over.’  

The door opened slowly and he saw Jensen peek out and look both ways down the corridor before he cautiously stepped out of the room, ‘What happened?’

‘Someone took out Pileggi; it looks like a hired killer,’ Jared felt a little bad for lying to Jensen and for putting that look of horror on his boyfriend’s face.  

But then Jensen was throwing himself into Jared’s arms, hugging him tightly, and that more than made up for it.  Jared hugged him back, silently promising that this would be the one and only thing he’d ever keep from Jensen; he knew, deep down, that it was for the best. ‘Really, he’s dead?’ Jensen whispered into his neck.

Jared stroked his hand up and down Jensen’s back, ‘Yeah, baby, he’s gone.  You don’t have to worry about him ever again okay.’  Jensen just nodded and pressed in closer, reminding Jared of all the nights since Jensen had been rescued that he’d woken up screaming or the nights Jared had woken up alone, only to find Jensen retching over the toilet basin.  Pileggi didn’t actually have to be living to torment Jensen; the man had years’ worth of nightmares in his head, enough to haunt him for the rest of his life.  

But, at least this way, that was all they were, just dreams, and Jared would soothe them away every night if he had to.

 


	15. Chapter Fifteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KIND OF MAJORLY GRAPHIC TORTURE/GORE HERE - BE WARNED!

  
  
** Chapter Fifteen - END. **

** One Year Later.  **

** Jensen.   **

_ ‘No, no please.  I’m sorry, I’ll do whatever you, just don’t…please.’  Jensen begged but Mitch just shook his head, his face a mask of mock regret. _

_ ‘I told you this would happen, Jensen, you need to learn that you’re place is under me and it always will be.  You’ve got no-one to blame for this but yourself.’  _

_ ‘NO!’ Jensen shouted as the knife slid across Jaime’s neck; the boy stared at him with terrified eyes as he choked out his last breaths.  All Jensen could do was watch in horror as the life faded from the boy’s eyes, red dripping down his body from the wide gash in his neck.   _

_ This was all his fault…Jaime wouldn’t even have been here if Jensen could just follow the fucking rules.   _

_ He dropped to his knees, shaking so badly he could hear his teeth chattering in his skull; he was going into shock, no doubt about it.  He didn’t even notice that Mitch had come up behind him before he felt his arms wrenched behind his back.   _

_ He came back to himself, though, when he felt cold metal close over his wrists.  Jensen fought and struggled to pull his wrists apart and when he couldn’t, panic set again.  ‘No…no, get these off me, let me go,’ he snarled at Mitch but the man just backhanded him across the face, sending Jensen’s flying backwards onto his strained arms and shoulders.  He groaned in pain and tried to relax; it wouldn’t help his chances of escape if he dislocated one of his shoulders.    _

_ Mitch leaned down over him, that same cruel smile that he’d given Jensen a hundred times before on his face, and hauled Jensen to his feet, ‘You don’t give the orders here, whore, you bend over and fucking take what I give you and be fucking grateful for every breath I let you take.’  He pushed Jensen face down onto the floor and Jensen recoiled when his cheek hit the carpet soaked in Jaime’s blood.   _

_ It was too much, he tried to pull back, pull away, anything; he could feel the blood smearing across his face, getting in his mouth as he took deep breaths and tried to not hyperventilate.  It was everywhere, it was all Jensen could see, staining his vision red, but he couldn’t get away, not with Mitch’s hand planted firmly in the centre of his back, holding him to the floor.   _

_ He whimpered when Mitch grabbed his hair and pulled his head up so that he could see Jaime, so that he could look right into his dead eyes.  That was when Mitch rammed into him.  No prep, no lube…it was excruciating, pain unlike anything Jensen had ever experienced even in his training – he always prepped before he saw clients and every other time Mitch had taken him, the man had always made sure to prepare him first…wouldn’t want to damage his best money spinner after all.   _

_ Jensen cried out and tried to crawl away from the punishing thrusts but all that got him was Mitch digging his nails into Jensen’s back and dragging them down his skin.  ‘Fucking whore, fucking ruined everything, gonna show you what happens to people who…who piss me off,’ Mitch hissed before he pulled out and came all over Jaime’s body.  And Jensen threw up; he couldn’t keep it down, that was the most horrifying thing he’d ever seen and that was saying a lot.   _

_ ‘Don’t like that, whore?  That disgust you?’  Jensen nodded fervently, turning his face away so he didn’t have to look at the mess…if he couldn’t see it, then it wasn’t there…if he couldn’t see it…it wasn’t there, if he couldn’t… _

_ Jensen barely registered Mitch grabbing him by the shoulders and pushing him backwards so he was sitting on the floor, his back to the bed.  Jensen flinched in shock when Mitch took his cock in his hand; the man hadn’t touched him there in years, not since his training – Jensen was a piece of property, his pleasure wasn’t an issue.  The man continued to pump him and, to his horror, Jensen hardened in Mitch’s firm grip, ‘What…what are you doing?’  He gasped, trying to move away, but he had no leverage and he couldn’t get his legs under himself to stand up.   _

_ Mitch just grinned darkly at him and pumped harder and Jensen gritted his teeth against coming, bit into his cheek hard enough to draw blood, but he couldn’t help it…finally he sobbed and came over Jaime’s corpse, adding his own release to Mitch’s.  Jensen slumped back against the bed as Mitch leaned in, ‘You’re right, whore, you  _ are _disgusting.’_

Jensen woke up, jolting up in the bed, his breath coming in fast pants.  

He ran a hand down his face, ignoring his wet cheeks, as he tried to banish the terrible images from his head.  That had been the point he’d checked out; his brain shutting down and slipping away.  He’d barely felt the rest of the torture Mitch had inflicted on his body; he wouldn’t even have known it had happened had he not had to deal with the injuries afterwards.  

Jensen had thought that he’d finally snapped; that his brain had finally left the building but Jared had brought him back.  Just like he’d done every time since when Jensen had gotten too lost in his head, too lost in the past.  That had happened a lot in the first few weeks after the trial and Jensen could hardly believe that Jared had stuck with him through all that.  Jensen had been a nightmare to live with; a ghost one minute then a raging storm the next.  More than once, Jared had had to wrestle a razor out of Jensen’s hands when it had all finally gotten too much.  So to say it had been hard would’ve been the biggest understatement of the century but Jared was still there and Jensen couldn’t be more grateful.    

‘Jen?’  Jensen started when he felt Jared’s hand press against his back but forced himself to relax into the touch.  That had been another thing Jensen had found difficult to deal with; being touched without anger, and without expectation of anything else, was foreign and Jensen still had trouble handling it sometimes.  ‘You okay?’

Years of neglect and trying not to attract attention had taught Jensen instinctually to keep his feelings to himself, so his first reaction was to tell Jared everything was fine and that he should just go back to sleep.  But that wasn’t what being in a relationship was all about, or so Jared kept telling him, so he bit his lip and shook his head, feeling tears rise to his eyes again.  When would he finally be okay?  Would he _ever_ be okay again?  

Immediately Jared’s arms wrapped around him and pulled him back under the covers, tucking Jensen against his side, ‘Sorry I woke you up,’ _Sorry I’m so fucked up._

‘Not a problem, snuggling’s always worth losing a couple of hours of sleep over.’ He smiled and kissed Jensen once on the forehead, ‘What was it this time?’

‘The hotel room again,’ Jensen replied, his words muffled slightly as he buried his face in Jared’s neck but he knew the man must’ve understood him because his arms tightened around Jensen.  Jensen hadn’t told Jared much about what had happened in the hotel room, not much more than he’d confessed in the morgue that day, and he never intended to.  It was enough that he was haunted by the horrific experience, he wasn’t going to saddle Jared with those images as well.  But he’d told his boyfriend enough for Jared to know how much it still affected him, ‘It’s like I’m right there, and I’m just as helpless as I was that day.’

‘But you’re not and you never will be again.  He’s gone, dead and buried; he can never hurt you again,’ Jared said in a firm voice as if he could banish Mitch from Jensen’s dreams by sheer force of will.  

Jensen snuggled in closer, ‘I know, but it always seems so real, I can feel everything, see everything, _smell_ everything like I’m right there.  I just can’t…can’t get away from it.’  Jared kissed him again, this time pressing his lips to the top of Jensen’s head.  Jensen closed his eyes, relishing the feeling of his boyfriend’s arms around him; they grounded him in the present better than anything else could.  Jensen never would’ve thought that he’d still be able feel the overwhelming love he felt for Jared after everything that had happened.  But maybe that was the point; it was _Jared_ , his best friend, his lover, the most important person in his world.  Jensen loved him so much, he always had, he simply couldn’t imagine _not_ feeling that.  

He pulled away slightly, looking up at Jared, his eyes pleading, ‘Make me forget, Jay, show me what’s real.’  He kissed Jared firmly, so there would be no misunderstanding about what he wanted, what he _needed_.

Once he’d pulled away, Jared stared at him long enough to make Jensen uncomfortable and wonder whether he’d done something wrong.  Jensen was always getting stuff wrong; he’d been out of the world for ten long years and had been little more than a child when he’d been shut away from it - he was still trying to catch up on everything that he’d missed.  

But before Jensen could pull away, go sleep off his humiliation on the couch like he had so many times since he’d moved in with Jared, Jared said, ‘You sure, Jen?’

Jensen sighed in relief, the tension leaving his body as he nestled in closer to Jared, ‘Yeah, I…I need it, I need you, Jay.’

He felt Jared nod above him before the man unwrapped his arms from around Jensen.  Jensen felt a momentary chill but Jared was back immediately, pushing Jensen down onto the bed.  They never made love the other way, with Jensen on his stomach; they’d found out early on that it was easier for Jensen to keep his dark thoughts locked away when he could see Jared.  

Jared grabbed the lube from the nightstand and placed it on the pillow next to Jensen’s head.  He swooped down and caught Jensen’s lips in a hard kiss; it wasn’t rough, just hard enough to make Jensen feel it, to prove that he was there with Jared.  Completely safe.  It was exactly what he needed.  And Jared knew that, just like he always did.  

Jared quickly divested both of them of their clothes before lowering his body back down onto Jensen’s, supporting himself only slightly on his hands and letting most of his weight crush Jensen into the mattress.  

Jared kissed his way down Jensen’s jaw and neck, nipping and sucking at the pale skin, before he dipped down to mouth at Jensen’s chest.  Jensen gasped in shock and arousal when Jared took one of his nipples in his mouth, biting and licking at the tender flesh, till Jensen was bucking his hips up into Jared, desperately seeking some kind of friction against his aching cock.  But Jared just pinned him down with one strong hand on his hip and began a similar assault on Jensen’s other nipple.  

By the time Jared was finished sucking and licking and nibbling at him, Jensen had well and truly crossed the line into desperate.  Sweat dripped down his neck and covered his chest, he could feel his back sticking to the sheets every time he moved and his skin felt fever hot, ‘Jay, Jay, I…I need…’

‘I know, it’s okay, we’ll get there baby,’ Jared kissed him again, licking deep into Jensen’s mouth, his hand coming up to cup Jensen’s jaw and tilt his face upwards into the kiss.  It was an almost impossible mix of tenderness and passion that just about drove Jensen out of his mind; he didn’t know how, after a year of this, Jared still managed to drive him crazy with just a kiss.  He hoped it would be like this for the rest of their lives; he had a feeling that it would be.  

Soon, but not soon enough in Jensen’s opinion, he felt a lubed finger rub at his entrance and finally push all the way in.  Jensen relished the burn, the too full feeling he always got when they did this, when Jared was determined to chase Jensen’s nightmares away.  Jensen’s hand flew up to grip Jared’s shoulder, his back arching, as Jared stroked his finger against Jensen’s prostate, ‘Jay…’

‘I’ve got you, Jensen.  You’re here and you’re mine and nothing’s ever gonna change that.’  Jensen breath caught, just like it always did when Jared said things like that, and he let his head fall back against the pillow as Jared continued to prepare him, sliding his fingers in and out of Jensen’s ass, stroking over his inner walls, rubbing against his prostate, until Jensen thought he’d die just from this.  

It felt like an eternity had passed, Jensen lost in a haze of lust and pleasure, when Jared finally positioned himself at his entrance.  One swift push in and Jared was fully inside Jensen, leaning over him, his warm breath fanning over Jensen’s face.  They stared at each other, both completely still, and it was so fucking perfect that, in these moments, Jensen believed that they could fix this, that one day they could make him whole again.  Together.  ‘I love you,’ Jared breathed against his cheek, nudging his nose against it, before he pulled back and thrust back in.  Jared’s deep, hard thrusts had Jensen reaching up to grab the headboard, using it to push down and meet Jared’s thrusts.  

All too soon, Jensen felt his orgasm rising, lighting up every nerve in his body, and then one last thrust against his prostate had him crying out and coming hard between them.  

He rode the high, panting and sated, as Jared fucked him through it, chasing his own climax.  It wasn’t long before Jared’s hips stuttered in their relentless rhythm and he cursed low in his throat as he filled Jensen with his release.  Jared dropped down onto Jensen’s exhausted body and Jensen whispered, ‘I love you too,’ into his lover’s hair.

There had been so many times over the last ten years when Jensen had wanted to die, when he’d thought that nothing could possibly be worth what he suffered every day but there, held safely in Jared’s arms, Jensen knew that he’d been wrong.  If this was his reward for surviving, then it was more than worth it.  

THE END. 

Thank you so much for reading!!

xx

 


End file.
